#pretty sure the village thinks i'm dead at this point

[minimarsbar]

So I've challenged myself to complete the pokedex as much as possible without returning to Jubilife. So I've catching all the pokemon that I can, seeing all the moves that they do, and evolving them and completing their evolutions dex entries also. It's been very tiring. I'm kinda started this challenge suboptimally but I've learnt alot.

I'm still in Obsidian Fields after 155 hours of play and I need to know how to get Oval Stones.

I got one and I used it, and now I need two more and I don't know how to get them. It's possible to get them in the fields, so I must collect them in the fields. I just need to know how.

Do ores drop them? Which area? Do happinny drop them? In what conditions?

Please if anyone has any insight, I'm driving myself mad with this challenge.

[sophiamcdougall]

I am never going to complain about Greek Duolingo again

I mean, I am. But still.

So, as some of you know, my family has been coming to this tiny Greek seaside village for several years. Just over a week ago I came out here with my mum, under the impression that early September, after the height of the summer heat, would be a good time to have a holiday. ANYWAY Storm Daniel had other ideas about that. Locally things are improving (I'm actually really pissed off about the disaster-porn tone of most English-language media coverage, but that's another post). The power is back on, there's running water most of the time, and though the latter is not drinkable, a truck from the government came and handled out free bottled water yesterday. But we are currently kind of stuck. Can't do tourist things. Can't go home. There aren't any local flights out until Saturday and the road to Thessaloniki is still closed.

So this evening, feeling kind of aimless and depressed, I go down to the nearest beach with a couple of binbags and start cleaning up in an effort to at least do something positive. I always try to do this at least once out here and obviously, after the storm, there's a lot more plastic and rubbish than usual.

At some point I find this large, round bit of metal - some kind of machinery part, I think -- that's too big for the bag, so I take it to the bins on its own, leaving the rubbish bag on the beach. And when I come back for it, something among the stones beside it moves.

Specifically, it pulls its head sharply inside its shell

So, meanwhile I've been trying to learn some Greek with the help of Duolingo.

I currently have a 33-day streak and... I have questions. Shouldn't I be able to use the past or future tenses by now? Shouldn't I be able to say "x is like y"? I can't do those things. But one thing I absolutely can say all day long is έχω μια χελώνα : I have a turtle.

This is far from the limit of Duolingo Greek's turtle-related content. "An obsession with turtles" is my mother's characterisation. I can inform you that the turtle is not a bird, and, improbably, that the turtle is drinking milk. I can introduce you to a turtle in company with a horse and an elephant. As far as Duolingo is concerned, it really is turtles all the way down.

Now this, you may be able to see, is not a turtle. It has claws rather than flippers. It is a tortoise. I know there are wild tortoises in Greece: my aunt once rescued a pair of them shagging in the middle of the road -- but that was up in the mountains. I've even seen one myself, but it was also on a road and very dead.

I am 95% certain they don't belong on beaches. There's nothing for it to eat, except, unfortunately, a lot of plastic. Even if it gets off the beach it will immediately find itself on a road where it could get hit by a car. I'm pretty sure it must have been washed down by the floodwater and has been just sitting there, dazed, ever since.

Now obviously the first thing I want to do on encountering this unusual animal is to go and tell my mummy, so I do. The tortoise immediately brightens her day. She agrees that the tortoise is not happy on the beach and needs to be taken somewhere safe. it gets surprisingly wriggly when picked up so we put it in a carrier bag with some grapes and cucumber and go looking for somewhere to rehome it.

We find a path leading up between the houses towards a likely-looking field, but before we get very far a dog in a yard goes berserk and a man's head pops over a fence and demands to know what we're doing. He does this in English, as evidently we're just that obviously tourists.

"I found a tortoise on the beach!" I explain. "We want to find somewhere to put it."

"A what," he asks.

"It's like a, you know," I begin and then to my astonishment I find myself saying... "μια χελώνα"

"Oh! A turtle!" he says.

"But from the land. δεν είναι χελώνα", [it is not a turtle,] I say, as I am worried he will tell me to put it back near the sea where I found it. As it turns out it actually IS a χελώνα, Greek does not distinguish between turtles and tortoises, but I don't know that; I can't even name the days of the week or identify any colours other than pink yet, give me a break.

The man's entire demeanour changes and thaws. He does not worry about my turtle-that-is-not-a-turtle conundrum. He knows where οι χελώνες come from and where η χελώνα μας belongs. He leads us through a gate into a courtyard area.

"[somethingsomething] μια χελώνα," he explains to the assembled onlookers, of whom there are, suddenly, a surprising number.

"ΜΙΑ ΧΕΛΩΝΑ!!!" crows the throng of delighted small children, who are, suddenly, everywhere.

"μια χελώνα!" I agree, accepting that at least for current purposes, that is what it is.

"Μπορούμε να δούμε τη χελώνα σας; [can we see your turtle?]" asks an adorable little girl, shyly, and I understand??

The children fucking love looking at the χελώνα and showing it to them is kind of magical?

I finally put the tortoise down on the grass of this wild area off to the side of the courtyard, and marvel aloud that it is weird that I barely know any Greek except how to say μια χελώνα.

"I think she will soon run off," a kind lady called Aspasia assures me, seeing I remain slightly anxious about its fate. "I don't know why I'm saying 'she'. I suppose because χελώνα is feminine in Greek."

"Yes! I know that!" I exclaim, thrilled.

"Well done!" she says. And also she asks if we are OK for drinking water after the storm and if we need any help with anything and is just generally incredibly lovely and now we know more of the neighbours!

So "μια χελώνα" has just become, by a long way, my most-used and most understood and all-around most conversationally successful phrase in Greek. So I guess I have to admit I was wrong to doubt Duolingo's wisdom: it is correct to be obsessed with turtles. And I concede that prior to learning how to count to ten or to distinguish right from left, the simple ability to yell the word TURTLE over and over again is, it turns out, a crucial element of the responsible traveller's social skills.

(I am pretty fluent in Italian and turtles haven't come up in conversation even once?)

[skythealmighty]

man. there are so many object shows out there. I NEED TO CATCH UP ON SO MANY why are the4e so many anyway Exclamation Mark (NOT AB) im killing you. he would get bullied off tumblr

#rocket talk #roc save #NOT THE ANIMATIC BATTLE ONE that ones fine #i mean the one in my header #hes an asshole #why do i keep accidentally hitting the number keys lately

(7 notes)

📉 storyboard-but-better Follow

i cant believe my contestants are so pissy over the second challenge still!!!! it was a coherent challenge i think "survive me killing you" is pretty straightforward!!! besides theyre fine now >:/

⏰ timeisatool Follow

Maybe it's becausw you killed them?

📉 storyboard-but-better Follow

well thats stupid

⚪ fuckingcircles Follow

I KNOW RIGHT!! my old contestants got SO pissy when i killed th3m!! just because theres no recovery... 😒

⏰ timeisatool Follow

You dont have recovery????

⭐ everybody-smile-smile-smile Follow

arent u supposed to be dead

⚪ fuckingcircles Follow

well im NOT so

❗ black-and-red Follow

Ugh, I haven't even killed anyone that much and they're still pissy! Honestly... just do the challenges and you'll be fine! I only threatened them..

⭐ everybody-smile-smile-smile Follow

well i thought i killed circle but ig not! and square but nobody else died idk why everuones so afraid of me... whats so wrong w wanting to make a perfect object show?

⏰ timeisatool Follow

Um

🔥 betterheatsflamesman Follow

yeah theres nothing wrong with that! you gotta do what you gotta do for your object show

⏰ timeisatool Follow

😰😰😰😰😰

⏰ timeisatool Follow

I want to leave this group...

#i thought we were all just supposed to be wacky and weird 😰😰 #mom come pick me up im scared...

(34 notes)

🔥🔃 betterheatsflamesman Follow reblogged 🪔 slay-style-queen

🪔 slay-style-queen Follow

Hey guys, just managed to get sponsored with my object show idea!!! (No thanks to you Lip Stick lol) wish me luck!! Also go keep an eye out on Village of Objects Official :D

🪔 slay-style-queen Follow

what the FUCK

🪔 slay-style-queen Follow

oh my god how do you all stay sane actually

4️⃣ four-therecord Follow

we don't! welcome to the club

🪔 slay-style-queen Follow

im never doing this again

#:)

(4,294 notes)

📻 annie-annie-ooh Follow

Who's Animatic?

#It's Your Fridge DJ! #I appreciate all the lovemail and the concern! ❤ #I don't understand some of the asks but thank you anyway!

(725 notes)

🧪🔃 test-tubular Follow reblogged 💥 fans-fantastic-features

🫵 have-you-heard-of-this-os Follow

Have YOU heard of:

🫵 have-you-heard-of-this-os Follow

Please stop debating on whether or not this "counts" as an object show, this was requested by an anon. If you want to do that on your own time on your own blog, feel free!

💥 fans-fantastic-features Follow

SORRY ABOUT THAT SJEHSKEB will move i promise 🙏

anyWAY on another note i miss this showww 😭 i was so intrigued about it but i guess i understand its cancellation... if anyone wants to come up with a rewrite w me hmu my ao3 is in my desc!!!!

⭐ everybody-smile-smile-smile Follow

just as long as you clarify its unofficial!! (:

💥 fans-fantastic-features Follow

its on ao3 ofc its unofficial

💥 fans-fantastic-features Follow

WAIT A GODDAMN SECON

#Fan we were /on/ an object show and technically famous I'm not sure why you're surprised at this point #Also get off your phone we're at Purgatory Mansion

(11,374 notes)

anonymous asked: hey greeny can you say trans rights for everyone out there

🟢 greenyguy Follow

trans rights AND trans wrongs. even if you like burger king i still support you <3

#burger king sucks ass tho dont do that to urself

(34,193 notes)

💥 fans-fantastic-features asked: im SO sorry for the sudden reply earlier, up until your post i thought hfjone was just some weird wild experimental show?? then again i shouldnt be surprised if happy star themselves is on this goddamn site (also sorry in advance for my friend TT sending you asks about alternate universes. shes a science nerd of all types and needs data or sm) if you want i can tell you what i know about your situation in a private chat, ive done a lot of deep dive analysis posts on my blog too and trust me when i say a LOT of the internet wants to help free you and everyone else you have plenty of help available spotty replies tho im investigating smth

🎒 liam-plecak Follow

I... yeah, I'd like that. Thanks.

(34 notes)

anonymous asked: battery ui is kind of already jailed but still

🔒 your-fav-would-be-jailed Follow

Battery from Ultimate Insanity would be jailed!

🔋 theft-and-battery Follow

Yeah

#Why did someone earlier send in that Walkie Talkie person? #I approve of the Blender submission though #Hate that guy

(12 notes)

🎒🔃 liam-plecak Follow reblogged 💥 fans-fantastic-features

🕹 fire-cartoon-schtick Follow

cant have shit in this fuckass hotel 😒😒😒 lens just died 😔😔

🕹 fire-cartoon-schtick Follow

#WHAT THE FUCK #DONT JUST DROP SMTH LIKE THAT AND DIP #ARE YOU OKAY?? #ARE YOU TALKING ABT A GAME???

hi! rhanks for the concern! 😁 i am unfortunately not talking about a game lens is actually dead please help me (dms r open 🙏🙏)

#Since I've gotten a lot of followers recently I feel like I should boost this #I'm busy with my own issues but maybe someone else can help?

(5,204 notes)

⚪ fuckingcircles Follow

i want my SHOW BACK i want my CO HOSTS BACK i want calculatory DEAD i only MILDLY HATE happy star i dont KNOW WHAT ELSE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT

🥝 gela-not-jelly Follow

🫵 Fanny kinnie

⚪ fuckingcircles Follow

who the FUCK is fanny

#im CIRCLE not a goddamn FAN #who even names themselves fanny anyway

(382 notes)

⚪battleforcircle asked: oml spiderman pointing meme

⚪ fuckingcircles Follow

you sent me this FIFTEEN TIMES get OUT of my ASKBOX!!!!

📉 storyboard-but-better Follow

why are there two of you...

⚪ fuckingcircles Follow

theres only ONE of me i dont know who this IS!!

⚪battleforcircle Follow

theres three of us just three of us

#idk why either tbh #tumblr just recommended his acc to me one day #he seems fun to annoy tho so ive taken it upon myself to do so #tee hee

(89 notes)

📶 she-walkie-on-my-talkie-till Follow

Hey so why is a known criminal on Tumblr?

📶 she-walkie-on-my-talkie-till Follow

Hello???

[lilmissbacon]

Rotg world building — Thoughts and theories

This was originally just going to be a reblog to THIS post but then I ended up going down a rabbit hole of my thoughts and opinions, so it became too annoyingly long for peoples/my preference.

Most of the post really expresses how I've always viewed the world of spirits in Rotg. The only thoughts I'm not really a fan of is the idea of some spirits not having physical forms and just being like big storms. Because what's the point of humanoid spirits being invisible to humans if they have no physical forms to other spirits as well?

I never saw Jack talking to the wind as the wind being an active spirit, I saw it as him just being so lonely he'd pretend the wind was alive to not feel so alone. After all, he only addressed the wind 1 time, if it were an actual being I feel like it'd be addressed more than once. Especially when Jack needed to get out of Antarctica: why would he need to fix his staff to fly out if the wind could've just picked him up unless he was the one making the wind? And like the post linked above said, the comics are unofficial. They're cool and I love them but they're not canon.

I do love the idea of their being 2 generations of spirits. Pre-MiM and post-MiM where the legends of Gods and myths are tales of the original spirits mistaken for higher deities and distorted over time. After all MiM wasn't always there (at least in the books) so how were their seasons/seasonal spirits on earth before him unless they were just natural to earth?

Plus it's made apparent through Sandy's death in Rotg that spirits are not 100% immortal, just non-aging. I think there is an open window for spirits to come back like Sandy did, if an influx of enough people believe, Tinkerbell style. But after maybe a year or so, that window is closed, that spirit is full on dead and that spirit needs to be replaced to keep the world in balance. So there could've been hundreds of spirits that have been lost but then replaced by MiM. I also think only magic can kill spirits, since Jack managed to fall from like 300+ feet in the final battle and walk it off without so much as a limp. Like, it still hurt, he clearly felt the pain, but he could still run, jump, throw hands and everything. He only groaned like he tripped down a small set of stairs.

Guardians are the only ones who could die without belief due to the vow they take. I feel like that vow tying their lives to belief could've actively been like an insurance policy to insure that the Guardians stay true and keep doing their jobs to fulfill childhood. It may be controlling and borderline manipulative for MiM to make them do that but I'm sure we're all in agreement that he is pretty gray as a character in the movie when you really think about it. And I could even see where he's coming from with this idea. After all, who knows how many spirits he may have made thinking they were good people, only for them to go dark and become evil. I'm sure MiM would hold a lot of guilt whenever those bad spirits hurt others or even feel at fault for making these decent people, eventual villains. Besides the Guardians know they could die if they lose belief when they make the vow, so it's not like MiM tricked them, that's consented. The Guardians just forgot to tell Jack that.

Now, I always saw "Spirit Society" as all spirits know of each other and word always gets around when new ones are made. I don't think there's a hidden city or village (other than maybe Santoff Clausen if it's even still around. And only for some of them, it wouldn't be big enough for all spirits in my mind) but rather they make homes for themselves and just cross paths with each other all the time. Kinda like the countryside; everyone's homes are far apart, but you still see each other in stores or at work.

I'm not quite sure how the news and knowledge would spread between spirits so often unless they were either all huge gossips or had yearly meets or something. But you know what, I'd be willing to bet that there are a few "messenger" spirits similar to Hermes in Greek myth, that just fly everywhere, spreading word for other spirits to make sure everyone is in the loop.

In my mind, Bunny's aggression early in the movie was meant to kinda show how most spirits saw Jack. After all, he's the only one who didn't feel like he'd be super recluse due to his job as he's the only one who doesn't work all year-round.

Unless he's a complete hermit, what is he doing for the rest of the year other than going out and hanging with other spirits?

I think most spirits hate Jack for being a troublemaking spirit that honed the deadliest season. That could just be my angst fanfic brain making things up but why else would Jack be so desperate to look towards humans to connect with unless he has tried with other spirits who could see him and was only met with backlash?

'Cause I have seen a few people complain that the ending of the movie contradicted Jack's arc of wanting to be seen only to leave the few believers he'd finally made. But that was never the point. He has what I like to call a fake-out arc; where it's said he wants one thing but his actual goal is different. He asks why he can't be seen, he tries his best to get people to believe in him, but he's doing it in an effort to find a family.

He mentions how no one can see him but he's more devastated over why he was left alone. That's his main question in this scene. He doesn't outwardly ask why he's alone specifically, but asking MiM "why" just after he was looking so longingly at Jamie's family is clearly meant to insinuate that that is what he really wants. He may even be telling himself it's just to be seen because he's been alone for so long that he just wants the bare fucking minimum. That's why the end of Rotg is still satisfying despite leaving his new believers, because being seen was never truly the end goal, it was finding a family and he finally found that in the other Guardians.

He clearly believed that he couldn't be accepted by other spirits, so he looked to humans to find that connection and getting to be seen by them was just a first step towards that goal.

It's the same thing in Tangled (because I have encountered someone who thought Rapunzel was one-dimensional for just wanting to see lights 😮‍💨) Rapunzel sang and always told Gothel + Eugene that she just wanted to see the floating lights, but the moment she steps out of her tower she starts singing in exhilaration about how she can finally go running, dancing, jumping and splashing. She never even mentions the lights. It had nothing to really do with the lights, she just wanted to leave her tower and explore the world. Seeing the lanterns was just her externalized and internalized excuse because she wanted to feel less awful for going against her 'mother'. Her wanting to explore the world was then more blatantly explored in Tangled the Series.

Edit: Pitch even straight up mentions about longing for a family when trying to sympathize with Jack and it's that very line that makes Jack lower is guard. Not the line about not being believed in, longing for a family. Jack even looks super sympathetic for him.

After Pitch killed Sandy, after witnessing first hand the belief fading from all the kids around the world and being framed for Easter's failure, possibly ruining Jack's relationship with the Guardians, Jack still feels bad for Pitch in this moment. That's why Jack lets Pitch say his piece in this scene despite knowing that he was never going to join him (you can tell he was never buying into Pitch's words and Jack didn't hesitate to refuse). He was even willing to try and just walk away after refusing his offer rather than keep fighting. Because he understands that desperation of wanting to be loved by just being seen and/or heard.

That's part of what makes him such a good layered character: the fact that he always used mischief in an effort to try and be seen, similar to when kids act out to get their parents attention. It leads the other spirits to think that he's nothing more than a troublemaker (and even audience as well, the amount of mis-characterization I've seen people make of Jack, istg) when in reality he's actually a very respectful, emotional, sweet and even responsible person that does know when to stop being silly. Jack never played around when actual danger came around, the only time he did was a one quip to Sandy because he was nervous and in the final battle when he realized being funny takes away Pitch's control.

And even then it was brief, after the kids started turning the sand gold again, Jack went right back into serious battle mode.

Kinda shows how not really mischievous Jack truly is when it takes him so long to realize that being fun can weaken Pitch. Because he's not really a trickster, he doesn't even really pull many pranks, he's just playful. But he had been cranking that up to 11 for the past 300 years in an effort to be seen, he inadvertently kept deterring other spirits away, who may had already not liked him just for being an ice based spirit. After all, whenever Bunny wanted to take a stab at Jack it was either at his invisibility or for his ice. Granted that could just be because Bunny himself just doesn't like the cold or even strictly because Jack made that blizzard on Easter but then again, we never got to see that for ourselves. We don't know if Jack even did that on purpose or not.

Last note; I don't think any other spirits died to become spirits like Jack did. It's my personal headcanon that the reason Jack couldn't remember his past is because he's the only one who had actively died before MiM got the chance to turn him. Though for all we know there could be a few others who also forgot their pasts. If there are, Jack clearly never got the chance to ask.

The way this kinda diverged into a mini Jack Frost character analysis though 😅

[fistfightinganxietyandlosing]

fandoms i think the sbg kids would be/would have been in at some point in their lives!!

ashlyn

I feel like she'd be really into small indie horror games. Things like Omori and Dead Plate. She'd probably play them at 2 in the morning, can of coke in hand and with the blankest expression known to man. She would definitely always have the volume off though.

aiden

A rottmnt kid if I've ever seen one. He found himself really liking Leo during his first watch which lead to him developing an obsession with characters played by Ben Schwartz. Dewey Duck? He loves him! Sonic? He has pictures of him on his walls! Ben is considering warning Ashlyn about it before she and Aiden start dating.

ben

He's sooo underrated 🫶. Anyways, I'm not sure how canon it is, but I remember hearing that Ben has every episode of the first season of Danny Phantom memorized which I think is awesome. He'd be the type to really enjoy consuming fan content like fan animations and fan songs. His dad nicknamed him Ben 10 because of how similar the audience for both shows are.

logan

100% an Animal Crossing fan FIGHT ME. Specifically New Horizons. He'd probably spend a long time decorating his island with flowers and other pretty things. In true sibling fashion, he made Ashlyn play with him. She spent a lot of time hitting the various villagers, but they had a good time. I can also see him having a Danganronpa phase at some point in his life, but eventually growing out of it.

tyler

DEFINITELY a pjo kid. He secretly(he told Taylor that they were dumb) took those "which cabin are you?" quizzes underneath his blanket in the middle of the night. Much to his frustration, no matter how many times he repeated the dam thing, he NEVER got Poseidon and instead got every god other than him. He would've kept going until he got him if Taylor hadn't woken up and yelled at him to go to sleep.

taylor

MARVEL GIRLIE. She burrito wraps herself and binge-watches all the movies regularly. Taylor's FIRMLY on #TeamIronMan and will argue with Tyler(he's secretly on Tony's side too, but he likes to say he's Team Cap' to piss her off) about it. She managed to convince Logan to watch with her and his favourite character ended up being Bruce Banner!!

[ryin-silverfish]

Nezha the Demon Child: oh god not the discourse

…I promise, this isn't about Nezha's age. No, really, it isn't.

It's about this idea of pre-resurrection Nezha as a "Demon Child", and good lord that's just as discourse-worthy isn't it.

My short answer is "It's Nezha 2019 specific and doesn't quite work outside of that context, if you are using FSYY's version of Nezha's backstory."

My long answer is this entire post.

First, I must define what I mean by "Nezha as Demon Child". It's the popular fanon inspired by 2019! Nezha, who is the Demon Pearl incarnate as opposed to 2019! Ao Bing's Spirit Pearl, after 2019! Shen Gongbao switched the two around, and thus destined to be destroyed by divine thunderbolts in three years.

In the movie, Nezha's demonic birth and out-of-control powers makes him into an outcast, despised by the villagers, and he retaliated with some pretty mean pranks.

But whereas 2019! Nezha's parents still love him and try their best to give him a good childhood in those three years, in the "Demon Child" fanon of JTTW adjacent works, Li Jing is the one who despises Nezha and sees him as a demon from the moment of his birth, and sometimes Jinzha and Muzha too.

Now, I have made it pretty clear before that I'm not a big fan of Li Jing. However, if we are just looking at FSYY novel, how much support can we really find for the "Demon Child" idea?

Well, for starters: there is only the Spirit Pearl/Lingzhu Zi in FSYY proper, who reincarnated as Nezha, destined to become the Vanguard of the Zhou Army in the upcoming War of the Investiture.

When Lady Yin gives birth to a ball of flesh after 3 years of pregnancy, two servants report to Li Jing that she has given birth to a demon. Li Jing rushes into the room with a sword and cuts the ball open, and a little kid jumps out and starts running around, and this is Li Jing's reaction:

李靖骇异，上前一把抱将起来，分明是个好孩子，又不忍作为妖怪坏他性命。乃递与夫人看。彼此恩爱不舍，各各忧喜。

Rough translation: "Shocked, Li Jing stepped forth and lifted him up into his arms; such a fine child. He could not bring himself to harm the child as a demon. Then he passed him over to his wife, and the couple showered him with affection, despite their individual joys and worries."

The next day, Taiyi showed up to congratulate him, asked about the timing of his son's birth, and basically went "Ah, crap." See, because the child is born at the hour of Chou, he is destined to break 1700 prohibitions against killing. Right after dropping that bombshell, Taiyi named the child Nezha, took him as his disciple, and just…left.

Soon, Li Jing got a report that 400 vassals had rebelled all over the realms, because prior to this, King Zhou had summoned his four major dukes to the capital, killed two of them, imprisoned one, and only left Chong Houhu the asshole bootlicker untouched, at which point the two dead dukes' sons promptly rebelled.

As Nezha grew to the age of seven, Li Jing was still conducting drills in case of an attack by the new Duke of the East's rebel army.

So what does it all mean?

Well…it sure doesn't support the idea that Li Jing despised Nezha because he still thought the child was a demon after cutting open the meatball.

He could plausibly be unsettled by the whole "break 1700 prohibitions against killing" prophecy, but instead of being abusive, I think it's more likely that he just neglected Nezha due to his duties as a general, leaving it entirely to Lady Yin to raise the kid.

Which is still not the best parenting, but with different implications for Nezha's character. Like, FSYY's Nezha gives me the vibe of someone who just doesn't quite understand social norms, or human behavior in general, or what a healthy degree of fear even feels like, and being outright despised or abused as this "Demon Child" would have taught him to fear things very quickly.

If he was indeed feared by Li Jing, it's less "suffer not the yaoguai!" and more "let's keep our third kid happy and ignorant and never let him out of the house again."

To use a fucked-up analogy…Nezha is less this dangerous hound that must be chained to a wall and whipped into submission, but a fine, powerful weapon Taiyi had left to them for safekeeping purposes, much like the Qiankun Bow & Sky-shaking Arrows sitting in their backyard building.

Perhaps he still isn't seen as his own person or treated like a regular, flesh-and-blood kid, yet it won't make sense for Li Jing or his older brothers to do the equivalent of spitting on this precious weapon or kicking it off the stands.

(Since Nezha doesn't even recognize Muzha when they run into each other during the Attempted Patricide Arc, my HC is Jinzha and Muzha both left home to study under their masters at a pretty young age, and rarely came back for visits.)

Like, I can still see Li Jing being this stuck-up and emotionally distant guy who only interacts with his kids to "check on their homework", so to speak.

Or Lady Yin coddling Nezha, partially because she wants to make up for Li Jing's absence, and partially due to the vain hope that, by sheltering her youngest child from the world, she might be able to shelter him from his very destiny too.

...

Here's where I go off a tangent: on a meta level, Nezha isn't a demon or an aberration of the natural order (which yaoguais are often seen as) either. This is very much informed by a Chinese essay called 由哪吒看《封神演义》的天命世界 that analyzed the character in relation to FSYY's view of Fate.

It is very well written and has given me quite the emotional damage (/hj).

Specifically:Nezha is destined to violate 1700 prohibitions against killing, not because he is "evil" or demonic, but because he's born to be an executioner carrying out the Will of Heaven.

He is the very embodiment of the "Peril" that is the War of Investiture, and thus must suffer through his own perils, to be ritualistically remade in death into a demigod-like warrior.

Much like how the Chan 12's participation in the War of Investiture is, in and of itself, a Peril, something they must endure and survive as the consequences to their causes——failing to sever the Three Corpses and breaking prohibitions, Nezha's suicide served as his Peril, a death that shall cleanse him of his guilt and satisfy the karmic laws while also fulfilling his destiny.

Everyone he killed in battle follows the same logic: they have violated taboos (more true for the Jie Sect immortals), gone against the impersonal, ironclad Will of Heaven yet paradoxically playing straight into Fate's hands, as their deification through death has proven——a Peril as well as a consolation prize.

To folks that don't buy into FSYY's view of Fate and think it's bullshit, or don't understand the logics of deification: an alternate and more "modern" interpretation of Nezha's suicide may be an attempt at finding freedom.

After all, what's a weapon's biggest act of resistance, but breaking itself?

After this, I'll never owe anyone anything again. My debts are repaid. I'll never see my mother cry. I'll be no one's son, no one's disciple, a blade that will never be sheathed and left to gather dust in the attic, obstructed, then blamed for doing what it's made for.

It also isn't as simple as he thought. Death, as well as freedom.

Looking back centuries later, he'll probably cringe at his younger self too.

This? This is what you think your destiny, or freedom from it, looks like? Dishing out death indiscriminately without understanding what it means and lashing out in a fit of rage——it doesn't make you a good warrior, or even a good weapon, just a mad dog!

Like, I think Nezha can be rightfully pissed at Li Jing's Asshole Arc after his death, while also gradually coming to a more mature and nuanced understanding of violence and his purpose during WOI.

Namely, as ironclad and undeniable as Fate is in FSYY, attributing everything to it is just an easy way to avoid the difficult questions and personal responsibilities.

And I feel like there are a lot of interesting potential in exploring Nezha's post-war arc, of someone who is born to be a weapon, who finds comfort and certainty in that purpose, suddenly having to become something else.

Not necessarily in the "learning to be human again" sense, moreso the divine equivalent of a veteran adjusting to civilian life, exploring the boundary between executioner and protector, while dealing with both the funny and messed-up implications of working alongside everyone he sent into the Investiture.

[mylonelydreaming]

I take issue with this idea of Link just "fucking off" and leaving Zelda completely alone before totk. Not even in just a shipping sort of way either, as close friends and him choosing to remain her knight, that makes zero logical sense? It is completely out of character for him?

Link doesn't ever leave Zelda's side. This is canon. "Fucking off" is just not something he does during peace time when he isn't on a heroic quest and being controlled by the player's whims

That's five times it's stated officially somewhere that he is by her side, and that's only the ones I can immediately recall. Botw's full ending and totk's opening together also show us that. We see them together when the story ends and we see them together when it picks back up in the sequel. At no point is it implied they ever parted.

And can we just remember for a second what happens when he's not there, for even a short amount of time, if she is unable to call upon her abilities and therefore defend herself?:

"Fucking off" is a fantastic way to get her killed. The Yiga worship Ganon, there is nobody they want dead more (besides Link), than the last living member of the royal family. They are also not opposed at all to going into villages. They snuck into Kakariko to assassinate Dorian's wife. We just don't see that reflected in gameplay.

Some people will say "it's just his job" to deny they even have a friendship or growth as characters, but want him to... not do the main part of that? "It's just his job" and "he fucked off to the wilderness" are simply not compatible ideas. Either you think Link is just a completely duty-bound mindless command robot or you think he completely doesn't care anymore about that to the point of endangering the person he's supposed to protect. It can't be both at the same time.

Thankfully, it's implied by the wording of master works, the cutscenes and the jpn version that he wants to protect and support her. That this is what he desires, even when the king is dead and he is immediately given the option to not do so anymore. That he is motivated by wanting to see her happy and safe. I'm pretty sure the only way to get him to stop trying to protect her or following her is death, and he has already proven that twice over.

[rivkadreamer]

Lonely Wanderer.

a/n: This took a little while, I kept going back and forth, I'm still trying to get a good hand at writing his personality. Anyways, enjoy your food.

Genre: Fluff, angst, Hurt/comfort(ish)

Warnings: Implied character death, not proof read

Summary: In which Wanderer muses how good it must be, this feeling called love.

Imagine Wanderer who's been longing for love for as long as he can remember.

Wanderer who different from what many people think, knows what is love and how to identify it.

He observed it as Kabukimono, in the way the father's of the blacksmith village carried their sons around their back, the way the mother's chastised their kids whenever they'd something dangerous, or in the way the uncle's would smuggle some sweets to their nieces behind the parents back, smiling sheepishly while petting their heads.

He envied it as Scaramouche. Envied the way groups of people would burst in laughter when they united after a tiring day of work, drinking away their hearts content. Envied the way people throw themselves in front of danger because of their companions, and in the way they would proudly boast about friendship, telling silly stories to each other about their mishaps as kids, laughing under their breaths while they teased each other.

And he craved it as Wanderer, in the way lovers would hold hands and walk together back home, in the way they'd whisper secrets into the night, promises with ardent devotion and smile knowingly at each other. Craved the way they'd kiss under the moonlight, hiding from everything else, and the world would be none the wiser.

He craved these connections in a way he would never admit, not even for himself. He wanted to experience it, if only for a moment. To have a taste of how it feels, even if this thought was a dangerous one for a being such as him.

And as he states his vain philosophy about how the sentiment is a hoax, as fake as the stars above, you are quick to raise an eyebrow, looking him dead in the eyes.

"And you really believe what you're saying? You don't really think that, do you?"

Wanderer does not know what caught him off guard first. Your voice or the fact that you seemingly could see right through him. It was the first time of many to come, where you stupefied him into utter silence. After a few minutes, Wanderer came back to reality to see you already staring at him, a knowing smirk on your face, as the face he was giving you made it clear that you caught him head handed on his petty little lies.

Damned be you.

Wanderer could feel himself physically recoil and turn around like a coward, spewing an insult he can't remember over his breath, then leave, running away from you.

Which brings him to the present moment, where he is once again running away from your stare as he is sitting his head on your lap. Only, this time he can't physically get out (that's what he tells you anyway, but you both know he could simply pull you away if Wanderer truly wished so).

"Hah, look into my eyes, you scaredy cat."

He couldn't, Wanderer had the impression he would go blind looking at you. So, so angel like you are, the rays of light shining upon you making you look completely ethereal on his eyes. Wanderer couldn't gaze upon you when you were this pretty. Not without losing some control of himself, anyways.

"The audacity to even utter those words. Do I have to remember you that you were the one who dragged me all the way over here?"

The small snort just bellow your breath, the way you covered your mouth to impede him to see the sure rapidly forming smile, everything you did was so lovely on his eyes.

"You and I know that if this was the case, I would've gone flying far away from you in some ditch quite a while ago."

"I just can't be bothered with you humans and your silly rituals. What is the point to come here and 'pass some time together' at all, if you won't even say anything?"

"You're not making any sense. Besides, it was you the one who said it was pathetic to make small talk just to fill up the silence."

The purple haired boy only clicked his tongue in faux distaste at that, his head moving to face you as soon as your hand cupped his cheek.

He didn't want to admit that he likes hearing you talk.

Wanderer knew exactly what the form of love was, having been chasing after it for so long, so desperately in all hundred of years he've been living on this cage masked as land. That's why he couldn't help but think, that as your soft lips touches his, you can only be love incarnate. That you're love itself.

He knows it, he feels it.

Felt in the way you called for his name, the name you gave to him. Felt in the way you'd kiss him so delicately, as if he would break, as if he was fragile. In the way you'd hold him under the warm beams of the sun, close to your chest, and let him hear your heartbeat. Or in the way you would brush off his hair out of his forehead, tracing imaginary letters and circles on his skin when you thought he was asleep. Felt the way you yearned for him, and he couldn't say it didn't felt like he was waiting for you his whole life.

But he was, even if he didn't know it before.

Because Wanderer craves love,

And you are love.

Therefore Wanderer craves you,

Wanderer loves you.

So he prays, for the first time. To any entity, to any god above. He prays and begs that you'd stay by his side just a little longer, just a little further. That your time with him wouldn't be over yet. He doesn't want this ephemeral moments with you to ever end. When he's with you, it feels like time is akin a butterfly with fluttering wings, something that can slip away from his grasp at any given time. It's wings so fragile, they can torn and break like glass cracking as soon as it hits the ground, quickly followed by it's own pieces scattering all over the place.

"Please." He pleads to no one in particular, holding your body close to his, grounding himself in the warmth that still emanates from your lying form, the fragile look on his clear amethyst eyes almost seems to be shivering, his voice betraying his emotions.

"Just a while longer. Just a bit more." He whispers reverently, feverishly trying to avoid the inevitable. If before he couldn't look at you up close because of how bright you were, now he can't rip his eyes away, trying to protect the trembling light between his fingertips.

"Don't go, never leave. Stay here, love."

[@rivkadreamer on Tumblr, please do not steal my works.]

[gryphis-eyes]

⊙ ἀγάπη, for you my true love

× who's your next girlfriend~

♤ Welcome to this pick a card~ im kinda doing this pac to celebrate the fact that im finally at peace with my sexuality (and I think that's exactly why I always feel conflicted about the love pac Ive done in the past lol) but I think we deserve more wlw in pick a cards. The person that will be represented in those piles can either be a cis woman or identify as a woman, Ive included the whole ’female spectrum”. In this pac I'll use the myths surrounding the dragon I'll pick to represent your next girlfriend to channel her personality and life story, hope you'll enjoy

Also it wasn't the intention but i did rant sometimes about myths don't worry i'm angry when it comes to dragon slaying lol

♤ Deck used : "oracle des dragons" by secret d'étoile & Illuminated Tarot (dedicated to Apollon, thanks for the gift of divination ⊙)

little note ; i only used court cards and major arcana, it is better to identify someone.

○ Masterlist

Choose a picture of my wife, Marie ;

♀ Pile 1

【Cards】 Tarasque & Dreki + The Sun

The first thing that came to my mind are those people who are really fond of the image of the divine feminine maybe it's something that trully changed their life and view of themselves for the better. She totaly got the vibe of a fertility goddess maybe she is even worshipping one, this woman truly feels like Hathor or Brigid because i've eard "she is like Hathor but in a forest". Please do take care of this sun goddess, this isn't a sun that burn but a sun who nurture and deliver a comforting warmth. Being blessed by their love is like being a cat laying on its back bathing in a warm sun ray (lucky you).

It's funny because the two dragons that represent your next girlfriend aren't your typical dragons, they both don't have wings, they're peaceful unless disturbed and don't seek conflict (yes im on the side of the Tarasque fuck those peasants) in this oracle they're called Dreki and the author went on their interpretation of them but it's actually referencing to Lindworm who are dragons that are closer to snakes and who aren't dangerous at all as they feed on dead bodies or random animals. But for those two dragons, once they've encountered men Humans they're instantly considered a menace due to their appearance. The Dreki, as described in this oracle is a dragon that is almost invisible due to their closeness with nature and wilderness by that i can imagine that your next girlfirend is probably shy but i do think it's more about reservation wether they started doing it because of how the world treated them or just because it's their nature. Honestly i'm pretty sure that for most of you, your futur girl is so close to nature some are probably witches or at least worship nature or a deity/spirit who represent the element of earth, the forest and fertility (it can go from Artemis to Demeter or just the fairies). She is very patient and nurturing, probably have the cosiest home you'll ever go to or she has the power to make anyone feel cosy, i know she gives wonderful hugs but you have to deserve them because~

Let's get to the Tarasque side, you can consider it a dark side but i honestly think it's something she's grown into, the Dreki feels like their true self while the Tarasque is probably their "outside appearance". In its legend, the Tarasque attacked annyone who came to close to its territory, it was a furious and scary creature many talks about how terrifying she looked. Just with this part of the story i can see how the world have treated this woman, probably pointing fingers at her pointing out anything that made her different or maybe she's just not conventionaly attractive. Of cours the villagers (her whole surrounding) just wanted the dragon to be slain but one day Marthe (it can be you or someone who's a true friend to her) came in the town, she saw the potential of the Tarasque and not just a furious monster of devastation, lady Marthe appeased the Tarasque and treated it gently. Sadly once Marthe bought the Tarasque to the village those stupid monkey brained peasant decided to kill it in vengeance despite the dragon being now tamed and calm (i'll be salty forever by the way apparently this town sucks now SO GOOD FOR THEM)

With this part of the story i can have two scenarios , this is either the story of your meeting so you'll meet her when she will be in a really lonely place, probably stuck in the place that hurted them (because hey it's not that easy to leave). Or they've already been through all of this and now she is far from those people who harmed her but of course it has consequence on her and her personality so she might come off as rude people might even say 'rude' but don't be stopped by their tough exterior, it's not a mask but an actual outside image of them. Kind of like a bear i've heard, some will think about the fact that they're aggressive and dangerous but actually they're quite cuddly and protective, look at interpretation of the Bear card from Lenormand i feel like it does represent your person quite well or simply what bears represent in your belief system.

Be gentle, be patient because it's not a woman whom you can approach just out of curiosity you'll actually have to seek out in the forest to find her in their most natural habitat and who know maybe she'll charm you. la petite fille de la mer just started playing when i got to this part like wow she is so dreamy i feel like she could hypnotise you like the fairy she is~

my best wishes for you and the fairy princess

♀ Pile 1

【Cards】 Ladon & gargouille + The Sun

It's quite funny that you also got the sun to describe your woman but i sense her to be quite far from Pile 1's girlfriend. She strike me as the sun but in the way of Apollon who represent it, she got a bright side that is bold but warm, she inspire a lot of people as much as she intimidate them because Ladon is the dragon (a kind of hydra) who ended up being turned into the dragon constellation (what a star). And just like Apollon she also has a really dark side, a side of the sun that we often forget about, she is a furious & burning star alone but shining on the world both nurturing and devastating. Your girlfriend is kind of a punk i must say, probably very active when it comes to injustice that just make her blood boil. She probably made herself a lot of enemies but she doesn't care, yes she is alone but she is confident in it (tho i can guess that the loneliness can be heavy sometimes) i can also say that a lot of people probably hate her out of jealousy because she is free and independant while other people are probably too insecure to do anything she does. An other thing i got is that she doesn't care about dressing how she want or being provocative in general "just because she can" i've heard, after all gargoyls are made either scary or provocative in order to scare off evil (like the gorgon images) she assume all of her choices and so she doesn't mind any asshole who come up to try to put her down because if she ever falls on the ground she'll get up to go as high as the stars.

In the myth, Ladon has been slayed by heracles (it's an heracles hater account by the way) during his labours but thing is, Ladon's death has been quite the scandal and made the nymph really sad above of that the dragon was protecting the golden apple tree (thank you for being useless heracles). I can interpret this for your futur girlfriend as her being just protective and supportive of other women (the nymph) but probably about minority in general (the apple tree represent multiple things to protect that are all linked togheter), since the nymph adore Ladon to the point of crying its death she is probably quite popular amongs the girls. Now for the heracles part i think we can all imagine what he represent when you think about the image of your futur girlfriend, (cis)men 100% hate her for sure and some might have been pretty violent about it (what can you expect from such primitive creatures after all).

After being slayed, Hera took Ladon's dead body and made it into the now known as the dragon constellation and the nymph all cried the death of the beast. Your girl is alive don't worry i'm not predicting any death ! I can interpret this part of the myth as despite her being put down by abusive figure she has found the right people for her and who helped her being her true self or just going back to her true self after a big trauma (i mostly get woman figure or a group of woman at least). I can also imagine that as her having a big presence only and so a big supportive audience with some haters.

Your girlfriend actually remind me of Marie, the girl i picked for the 3 piles image so maybe you'd find her interesting maybe read her wiki page or read Innocent (her full name is Marie Joseph Sanson) tho be aware it's a quite violent and dark manga it's not for everyone/every age.

♀ Pile 3

【Cards】 Ouroboros & Quetzalcoatl + Judgement

What the hell ? What have you done to pull out some goddess like that i think you'll date a litteral dragon. This woman has experienced high highs and terrible "death moments" i'm definitly getting someone who's into witchcraft/spirituality but not your little crystal collecting girly oh no, here it's someone who's actively practicing it. Think of the women who worship santa muerte or who are following any chtonian or chaotic god or spirits (like dragons why not). This person kind of remind me of a female version of Griffith but before he became the most problematic character on earth. She looks angelic, like a savior she probably gives wonderful advice and help people get out of wild situation she if harsh in her messages if needed but everything she does serves the ouroboros (the cycle of life and death) most people have met her when being in very bad state as she came by to remind them about the cycle of things or just to shake their world a bit so they start moving again. Tho this angel might be a bit lonely since it's probably really hard for her to find people who match her energy, she isn't afraid of her solitude and darkness because she choosed it, she just fly high knowing that one day she'll meet people or at least someone who match her vibe or who is at least not coming to her while beging for help.

This person is a leader and a messenger she is probably really good with divination it might be her go to thing for everyday trial. Quetzalcoalt was against human sacrifice and with the ouroboros i can imagine that your next girlfriend probably have been through a long and painful cycle of self sacrifice, her surrounding has probably preached how wonderful and how you have no choice but sacrifice yourself for the sake of others and that you should just suffer in silence. Your futur girlfriend said no and stood up against this victim mentality because true freedom cannot be attained when being pushed down to the ground by people, her place was amongs the clouds in harmony with the element of air. She come and goes like the wind, i sense that she isn't particulary extraverted but she doesn't have problem when it comes to interacting with people so she probably speak to random people everytime she goes out however she is quite the loner or at least she is really distant from her friend group, maybe she is very different from them so despite getting along she can't fully give herself to her friendship like she wish she could.

Quetzalcoalt has been betrayed in his myth, again i always sense that your girlfriend's life trial has been made into whole cycle so she could observe and live the problem in all its angles. Has amazing as it sound, this person has suffered a lot through those cycles, yes they come out strong and still standing but don't understimate the pain she went or is still going through, after all Quetzalcoalt killed himself with fire and only his heart was left and became the morning star. I can interpret this has your person using their past experience to teach others about life's pain and how to overcome them but sadly no ones does it for her, it's like she is the first one who always step in dangerous zone to be faced with danger so the others don't despite her fighting to stop this "sacrifice cycle".

Despite being strong they probably needs some company to light up their day (wink wink)

⊙

[fixyourwritinghabits]

Hello! Your blog is great, long time follower first time asker. Im about to start outlining my first novel (short, 30k words), and its like, sci fi noir detective? But I wanted to ask what you think the best way to world build for a novel is bc I'm famously not, great at that. Thanks ! yall have a great day !

World-building is not my strength, and as much as I admire the DnD approach of creating an entire world before you even have a plot for it, I cannot do that. My approach, therefore, is to lean on the technique of all world-building should be in service to the story. Getting too attached to a thousand details that will be left on the cutting floor is a hard no for me.

A common complaint about fantasy books is that they don't often lay out how the world works, but that doesn't bother me too much. You could spend twenty pages on trading deals and agricultural practices (and should if they interest you!), but none of that may make it to the final draft. You may be better served by trying the following:

Start With Your Premise

Let's keep it real simple. Magical abilities are sorted by color. Minerals mined from Mars start creating hallucinations that seem to predict the future. Sharks sprout legs and start terrorizing seaside towns, etc. Even if you only have an inkling of how the surrounding world will be, you probably have an idea of what you want the plot to be like.

Where is your character in regards to your concept? If there's magic in your book, what is theirs like or what do they know about it? Could they have some hidden insight on those hallucinations (actually warnings from long-dead Martians!)? Are they are shark scientist who's pretty damn sure land sharks aren't real?

Establish the baseline of your character's everyday life in the world they're in will help you figure out how to expand from there.

Establish Your Rules

Before you get off and running, sit down and figure out what's doable and what isn't. If the magic/phenomena/walking sharks manifest in a particular way, what can't it/they do? Setting your rules down ahead of time will keep yourself from writing yourself into a corner, but it also helps you justify breaking them later, if need be.

Don't, however, stick too rigidly to these rules as you go along. You might figure out a brilliant plot twist that requires going back and realigning your world to make it work! Making them up as you go along, however, may give you a much harder job when editing. Believe me, I've learned that the hard way.

Expand Your World With Your Plot/Character

Again, this is mainly to spare you tossing out pages and pages of scenes and settings you can't justify keeping in the final product. Keeping the narrow focus of your world-building on your character, starting with their normal state of things (their village, their daily life, etc), expanding when the inciting event launches them beyond what they know (holy shit, sharks with legs!), and each new problem or challenge will give you opportunity to expand your world-building in service of your story.

You don't have to do this as you go along - if you know the climax or a critical moment in your book requires establishing something specific about your world, you can weave that into your story long before it becomes important.

For example, your character may have an argument with the lead engineer of the spaceship's engines, who makes a fool of them by pointing out something they don't know. This gives a scene to establish characterization (revealing insecurities and flaws, establish relationships (rivalries, love interests, etc), and gives you a moment to establish key facts about your world by showing off the impressive engine room ahead of time. Later, when your character scrambles through it dodging bad guys to prevent the ship from crashing, the reader will already be familiar with the importance of what the character is trying to accomplish.

Be Open to Change

I recently went back to a project I haven't touched in years and was astonished to find that I ripped out huge chunks of my previous world-building, revamped the premise, changed entire conflicts and characters, and... it works so much better than what I was struggling to accomplish before.

Now don't get me wrong! This process was so emotionally devastating at the time that I put the entire thing away for years, convinced it wasn't savable. In hindsight, it was worth it, but I don't recommend this approach at all. Some concepts may be better for DnD campaigns or personal projects, and not novels. Some may be better in a different medium, like a comic or an indie game. You never have to throw anything out - unused ideas can be reworked into other stories. Maybe even a sequel!

Give yourself space to hit some storytelling walls, change up your ideas that aren't working, and experiment. All work is good work, even if some of it never ends up on the page. You'll get there.

[gunilslaugh]

Gone Mad Pt.2

Lee Jooyeon Summary: Naturally after finding out who Jooyeon really is you tried to avoid him, but Jooyeon had other plans. (non-idol au) WC:~1k Warning:none

part 1 part 3 epilogue!

photo not mine credits to owner.

Safe to say that you stayed away from your little spot in the woods after your last encounter with Jooyeon. You had no clue what to do now. Reasonably you should turn him in, but what if he came after you for it? Even if you reported anonymously Jooyeon knows that they don’t know what he looks like, but you do. Maybe it’s your paranoia, but you're pretty sure he could put the pieces together. As morally wrong as it is to not turn in a murderer, you don’t want to risk your life at the cost of it either. So really what were you supposed to do?

“Ow,” you let out a hiss as you prick yourself with the sewing needle.

“Are you ok?” your colleague asked you. 

“Yeah I just pricked myself,” you dismissed. 

“Again? That’s the third time today,” she states. 

“I know. I’m a bit distracted today,” you say. 

“What’s wrong?” She comes over taking a seat next to you. 

“It's just I…it’s nothing.” you shook your head and went to pick up your work again, but your colleague placed her hand over it, guiding it back down to the table. 

“It’s clearly not. You’ve been acting off these past couple of days. I'm worried about you,” she expressed. You think to yourself for a moment. You can’t possibly tell her about Jooyeon, you can’t involve her in this mess. 

“I saw a wanted poster,” you tell her. 

“A wanted poster?” She urged you to continue. 

“A wanted poster for killing a knight…The same one that used to come in here and bother me,” you revealed. Your colleague’s' eyes widened. 

“He’s dead? He was murdered?” she asked in disbelief. You nodded. “We joked about killing him, but someone actually did it?” The weight of what happened started to set in. Again you nodded, not being able to find words. “Well, what did the person on the poster look like? We should keep an eye out for them.” 

“That’s the thing,” you sigh. “The guy on the poster could easily be half of the guys in this village.” 

“So they have no clue who did it?” she sighs. Everyone else has no clue, but you know exactly who did it. It feels like a boulder is sitting on your chest. “Should we tell the owner? Certainly she wouldn’t make us work so late when there’s a murder on the loose.” she suggested. 

“We can try, but remember she told us the only reason we shouldn’t turn up to work is if all our fingers are missing?” you brought up. 

“....Well it’s not like we are asking to leave early, just to leave by sunset,” she pointed. 

Your boss said that you can leave work when your work is done. That seemed to work out most days. However, today when she told you about the order of a new dress only an hour before sunset, it didn’t work out too well. 

“You can go home,” you told your colleague as you saw the sun starting to head down. 

“What about you?” She looks at you with concern. It’s fine I know the murderer. 

“I’ll be ok. You know I don’t live that far away,” you reassured her. 

“Are you sure? I can stay. We could go back together,” she offered. 

“And give either of our parents a heart attack when one of us doesn’t come home?” you say. Your colleague sighs. She knows that you're right, but she still feels reluctant to leave you. 

“Please be safe. Take some extra sharp needles with you when you leave,” she tells you. 

“I will,” you state.

The moon had taken the sun’s place long ago by the time you stitched the final detail onto the dress. You do feel a bit nervous as you walk out of the shop in the darkness of night. It’s fine. You reassure yourself. There is no way that Jooyeon-

“Y/n!” Please no, you prayed. “Y/n!” The voice calls for you again. The voice that belongs to none other than Jooyeon. You turn your head to see Jooyeon very quickly approaching you. “You haven’t been to our spot in so long. Are you avoiding me?” he questioned. You swallowed nervously, because yes you were very much avoiding him. 

“No. Why would I do that? I’ve been busy with work. You can see I just got off.” You raised your hand to gesture to the closed doors of the shop you worked at. 

“What happened to your hand?” Jooyeon quickly caught your hand in his and looked at you with sad eyes. 

“I pricked it. It’s not a big deal.” You tried to pull your hand from his, but he wouldn’t let go that easily. 

“You shouldn’t be getting hurt,” he said, running his fingers over the injured parts of your hand. 

“It’s fine, Jooyeon. Every seamstress pricks themselves from time to time.” This time you successfully pull your hand out of his. 

“You’re really not avoiding me though right? I was worried that you were after finding out about me. That you thought I was mad like everyone else,” he tells you. 

“Well, I do think you are a little coocoo,” you chuckled nervously. 

“Even if I am. It’s all their fault anyway.” A dark look took over Jooyeon’s face. 

“Their fault?” you asked cautiously. 

“The knights, that’s why I’m getting rid of them.” he tells you.

“What did they do?” You know that you probably shouldn’t pry into it, but your curiosity was getting the better of you.

“I used to work in the palace, but they ruined everything,” he told you. His answer only built your curiosity. You couldn’t imagine Jooyeon working in the palace.

“You’re curious about it aren’t you? Let’s go to our spot. I’ll tell you my story.” He goes to grab your hand again. 

“But it’s late,” your apprehensiveness kicked back in. 

“It’s ok. You’re with me.” He smiled at you, grabbing your hand and leading you along the way. 

Jooyeon literally told you that everyone else thinks that he has gone mad. Not to mention that even if he didn’t say that you know exactly what he’s capable of, so why does his hand holding yours make you feel safe?

part 1 part 3 epilogue!

taglist: @purplelady85 @gingerjunhan @chewednails @ezlynkisses @mon2sunjinsuver @mxlly143 @seungseung-minmin

comment or message me to be added!

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

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1. Hi, me again!! Returning to your amazing site!! I hope you can help me find this fic!! I'm looking for a fic where WWX doesn't die in his first life, but he ends up in a paperman and in Yummeng they have to find a way to returning him to his body!! Please help!! Be well :) @monicaop21

NOT FOUND! 🧡 a paper friend by soft_wanning (G, 4k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Fluff, Paperman!WWX, Identity Porn, Meet-Cute, Different First Meeting) I'm not sure this is right but I'd thought I'd mention it just in case - Mod C

I remember this one but can't find it! Iirc, WWX was in a coma in Lotus Pier, but the rest of the cultivation world was told he was dead. Can't remember how his spirit ended up in a paperman, but all the Lotus Pier people knew, and eventually LWJ figured it out when he was visiting for a cultivation conference or something. I think they were trying to figure out how to get WWX back into his body when MXY did his ritual and WWXs spirit was pulled out of the paperman and everyone freaked out that he'd died for real this time

FOUND!🔒 something like by silversshadow (T, 69k, WangXian, XuanLi, SongXiao, Canon Divergence, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Temporary Character Death)

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2. Hi!! Thank you for all your hardwork here.

I was looking for this fic where Wei Wuxian doesn't get adopted by the Jiangs.( I'm not sure if it was because he retained his memories of his earlier life.) Anyway... he gets the Dafan Wens at Yiling and closes Yiling with a barrier that no one can break through.

At some point Lan Wangji comes by and meets Wei Wuxian and there's a little bit of an identity crisis happening because Wuxian doesn't want to tell Wangji who he is but the smart Lan figures it out (I think lol) Also the war happens (again not so sure) but anyway all the sects comes to ask for refuge at Yiling.

The part I remember really well is where The Jiangs come by boat and Yu furen is her usual self with her condescending attitude.

I also remember a section where, towards the beginning, Wuxian actually cures the Burial mounds and like the entire village just loves him and takes care of him because he's such an angel.

Please find this for me cuz I went through 115 pages in my history and still couldn't find it. @poetic-writes

FOUND? The Devil That You Forgot by pottedplnt (Not Rated, 20k, WIP, WangXian, Canon Divergence, BAMF WWX, YLLZ WWX, Rogue Cultivator WWX, WWX Isn't Adopted by the Jiāngs, Angst, Sentient Burial Mounds, Demonic Cultivation, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Angst with a Happy Ending, Sunshot Campaign, Chronic Pain, JFM and YZY Bashing, Bad Parent YZY, Jiāng Family Bashing)

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3. hiii for the next FF I’m looking for a modern wangxian fic where wy is a toymaker and LZ is a writer and single father to lsz. It’s largely comfort where wy reintroduces LZ to the magic of imagination I think and idk if it’s only where i stopped but the most recent scene was lz’s mother being stuck in the hospital. I also rmb that wy couldn’t leave the toy shop for long. @crazy-gay-killxr

FOUND! Pure Imagination by Witch_Nova221 (T, 119k, wangxian, LXC/NMJ, JYL/JZX, LSZ LWJ & WWX, modern w magic, Romance, Toys, Toy maker, Magic, Found Family, Family Feels, Family Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hospitals, Mentions of Cancer, Minor Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Loss of Parent(s))

~*~

4. Hi!! Thanks for your work, I have been looking for a fic I read I while ago. It is a MDZSxTGCF crossover, it starts with Wei Ying arriving to ghost city after his death and Hualian finding him (I'm pretty sure he calls Xie Lian an angel at some point). Some time later, Lan Zhan travels to the ghost city to find Wei Ying, he doesn't find him but Hua Cheng lent him some luck so they can reunite soon.

Thank again for everything!!! @jesuqueso

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5. hi! im looking for a fic where the juniors of lotus pier think wwx gives the worst punishment. in reality, wwx just deliveres them to the most appropriate adult to deal with it. like if the best punishment would be "im not mad just disappointed" lecture, then he'll drop the kids off to jaing yanli or if they need handstands then to lan wangji and so on.. but wwx himself rarely punished them and somehow the juniors came to the conclusion that he must give out the worst punishment

this was just a small scene from a long fic. not even related to plot, i think this scene was towards the end. @mumblerovertmblr

FOUND! I'm pretty sure 5 is And Time Is But a Paper Moon by sami (M, 139k, WangXian, XiChengQing, Time Travel, Fix-It, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Healing, Mental Health Issues, PTSD, Hurt/Comfort, Depression, BAMF WWX, BAMF JC, BAMF LWJ, BAMF JYL, Getting Together) or one of its sequels / yes like previouly said, it is in And Time Is But A Paper Moon by sami, in chapter 20!

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6. For the next Fic Finder – I was looking for a fic to suggest for an ITMF request, but I can’t find it! It’s a modern AU, where LQR suggests a marriage between JYL and LWJ (after a scandal with JGS comes to light, making JZX a bad option even though JYL still wants to marry him). But LWJ and WWX are already secretly dating, so WWX chaperones JYL and LWJ on a “date” where they finally tell her they are together, and then go about telling the rest of their family through the rest of the fic. @eorlgreylady

FOUND! I think 6 is A Sequence of coming out by kippalittlefox, but it seems to be deleted.

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7. What I remember from it is that WWX was in the bath before some people broke into the jingshi and held him hostage when LWJ got back. He had a string to his throat, or a knife not fully sure. After the guys that broke in were killed and it was like the next day, JC came by and the three of them started talking in the middle of CR so that the others would know that LWJ killed the men because they tried to kill his husband and if they wanted to see the scar left across WWX's throat.

This part was at the end of it, but I don't remember it being long. Don't really remember honestly

FOUND! sounds like No journey is too long by dea_liberty (M, 12k, wangxian, Post-Canon, Found Families, Epilogue, Happy Ending, Some angst, a lot of feelings, WWX has some PTSD to deal with, Minor Violence) the last in a five-part post canon series. The incident takes place in an inn, not the Jingshi, but other details match

~*~

8. Hi! I’m kinda desperate now.

I’m looking for a fic where a-yuan or I think OC child is wwx and lwj biological child. I remember there is a chapter wherein before dying (due to canon stuff), wwx confessed to lwj that they had a child together. Then wwx died and I think they search for for the child (I forgot who saw the child but I sure it is either lxc or lwj)

I really appreciate it if you help me😭

~*~

9. Hey! I'm looking for a fic I've read once but can't seem to find it anymore.

It was a modern Wangxian au where LWJ is a motorbike racer and WWX is a single parent to A-Yuan. LWJ sees WWX on the street as he drives by and circles back just to ask him out on a date. Incredibly sweet fic and I would like to read it again.

Thank you! 😘 @lucica-stuff

FOUND! My Heart is the Finish Line by UseMyMuse (E, 29k, WangXian, Bikerji, dadxian, Mpreg)

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10. There's a long modern au where lwj and lxc are art agents or something and wwx is an artist. But the main thing of the fic is that wwx hears from mxy that lwj FUCKS and might have a spreadsheet for it. This turns wwxs world upside down cause lwj is his best friend and he'd never known this. Then there's pining. Wwx painting a triptych, pining while fucking and finally the two idiots talk. There was also a b side version from lwjs pov. I cannot find this fic now. Help.

FOUND! show me a quiver, give me tonight by spookykingdomstarlight (E, 115k, wangxian, lwj/others, communication failure, mutual pining, artists, demisexual wwx, angst w/ happy ending)

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11. hello! i need help looking for a fic please 🙏🏻

i remember a lot but these are the important bits: modern au, wwx & lwj used to be classmates, nhs finally convinced wwx to confess his feelings for lwj, and when he did (in public, blurting out loud cause he was VERY nervous), lwj thought it was a prank, got angry and rejected wwx. wwx was devastated, nhs felt guilty, planned to drink & then met wen xu. wwx and wen xu get together, but wwx ran away (?) with wx. he was actually in an abusive & manipulative relationship with wx. then wwx adopts wen yuan and he fled with wy. years later, wwx owns a cafe, wy is a teen and they accidentally meet lwj again at the cafe. the junior ensemble is there, things happen and wx finds wwx but there is a happy ending.

i have TRIED looking for it myself but to no avail. (This part added to an itmf)

we are blessed in this community for all the work that you do, thank you so much! 🙇🏻‍♀️ @emkaii

FOUND! how to make your dad fall in love with your high school teacher in five steps; the complete and bulletproof guide by ravenditefairylights (T, 90k, WangXian, Modern AU, Coffee shop AU, NB LSZ, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Angst, Genderfluid WWX)

~*~

12. Hi i'm looking for a wangxian fic were everyone watches (fallows lan wangji) wei wuxian and thinks that he gave birth to lan sizhui. its on ao3 @sansfan286

FOUND? Assumptions by draechaeli (T, 50k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Mainly Novel with a few CQL and Donghua bits, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Adoption, Adoption but WWX birthed them all, not mpreg, Not Established Relationship, Fluff, Canon-Typical Violence, Fix-It, gender non-conforming titles) the mirror follows WWX but they assume A-Yuan is the bio kid bc of convos they overhear but

FOUND? We made every mistake by JosieLinton2002 (T, 10k, WIP, WangXian, Mpreg) also features a mirror where they spy on WWX and they discover A-Yuan is Wangxian's bio kid

~*~

13. Hi can you guys help me find a fic? It was a modern au; it was about Lwj slowly realizing the Jiangs neglect Wwx or something along those lines. I remember two scenes, one where they were talking about gifts, and Wwx said Madam Yu got him shampoo and conditioner for his birthday, and Wwx thought that was normal. The second scene was Lwj learning Wwx is left alone in the house when the Jiang family goes on vacation.

FOUND? Lessons in Belonging by Nyatci (M, 12k, wangxian, Modern, Childhood Friends to Lovers, POV LWJ, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Canonical Child Abuse, Bad Parents JFM & YZY, Not Jiang Family Friendly, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Homophobia, Good Uncle LQR, background 3zun, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Assumed Asexuality, some mild non-overly-explicit smut, LWJ really wants to put a ring on it so he does, Domestic Fluff, wangxian adopt a-yuan, 5+1 Things)

~*~

14. this is for ficfinder.

I read a fic a couple of months ago and I can't find it.

in it, lwj dies because of the lan elders in the cave, and wwx gets really really mad (obvi) and then gives half of his heart to lwj surgically (literally)

FOUND! To Love a Lonely God by sunandseas (E, 6k, WangXian, Body Horror, Blood and Gore, Wwx gives Lwj his heart, Angst with a Happy Ending, BAMF WWX, Hurt LWJ, Dark WWX, Dark LWJ, Temporary Character Death, sacrifice as a form of love, Murder Husbands)

~*~

15. For fic finder: It was a modern au about sport dueling. You could duel in pairs or one on one, and WWX and JC were raised to be a pair but Madame Yu kept them apart, I think? Anyhoo, JC goes on to pair with Jiang Yanli and WWX eventually teams up with LWJ and win the championship. I feel like someone got kidnapped halfway through?

FOUND! I feel like I win when I lose by so_shhy (T, 25k, wangxian, modern cultivation, Sports AU, Getting Together, some semblance of a plot, gently implied 3zun, obsessively observing someone from a distance is super romantic, LWJ pls use your words, really WWX cannot be blamed for obliviousness in this one, WC causing trouble, WN is precious, Fluff, Podfic Available)

~*~

16. Hi! I can't seem to find a fix I really loved -- I remember it was sort of cyberpunk cultivation world and wwx downloaded himself into a sexbot which fought with lwj who realized he was fully sentient and took him home. There's eventual wen remnants and wwx has a secret agenda.

FOUND? In Imitation of Life by travelingneuritis (E, 70k, wangxian, modern cultivation, scifi au, android WWX, tone: neon seedy, rich people are bored and terrible, post-apocalyptoc landscape, happy ending, smut, severe major characger injury, time loss)

~*~

17. Hi! I read a fic ao3 and i forgot to bookmark it. It’s a modern and i remember wwx being a ceo of a huge tech company and lan zhan ran away and kinda asked wwx to be his sugar daddy??

FOUND? finally safe (for me to fall) by sassybluee (E, 77k, WangXian, Modern: No Powers, Sugar Daddy, Age Difference, Sex Work, Rich WWX, Older WWX, Service Top WWX, Poor LWJ, Single Parent LWJ, Sugar Baby LWJ, Family Issues, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Slow Burn, Cockblocking, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, No Lube, Lube, Addiction, Compulsory Heterosexuality, Implied/Referenced Abuse, wangxian + others) sigh so good

~*~

18. Hii I'm looking for these fics I read not long ago, couldn't find it anymore,

A) it's a short one I believe? Where nie huaisang kinda drags wwx with him to the past and wwx was livid (wwx chocked nhs or something), the scene happened in front alot of ppl .

B) I've read multiple like this one can't remember the exact one but it's where wwx was actually female, and hid her true ID from the jinags, and was discovered by the Lans or something

C) it's similar to b but I remember this scene it was an established Relationship post canon? Where wwx got her og body back after being resurrected by male mxy

Thanks in advance ☆ @karinasnowwwx

18A)

FOUND? Selfish by Valeska (T, 2k, NHS & WWX, Time Travel, NHS Needs a Hug, WWX Needs a Hug, YLLZ WWX, Sunshot Campaign, NHS kinda messes up, WWX needs a break, Hurt No Comfort, no NHS bashing even if it kinda sounds like that in the summary, he's tired and desperate, which doesn't mix well with presenting opportunities as we know)

18B)

FOUND? 🔒 Fallen Flowers and Closed Blooms by mondengel (M, 1k, wangxian, Female WWX, Creepy JFM)

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19. hello, I am looking for a fic " where lan wangji save wei wuxian after he jump from the cliff. baoshan rescued wei wuxian, lan wangji ang wen yuan from a cave and save wei wuxian by giving him his mother's core, later wei wuxian and lanwangji become demonic cultivator and immortal. "

FOUND? It's not a perfect match, but Ghosts Shouldn’t by ShanaStoryteller (Not Rated, 15k, WangXian, Grief/Mourning, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending)

~*~

20. Hello! I’m trying to find a modern AU fic where the Lans still run a school, and in the backstory, WWX did something, got expelled over it (can’t remember why, it’s either punching JZX or messing with LWJ) and after being sent home, Madam Yu disowned him and threw him out of the house. There was also a mention that LQR was horrified, because the other times he expelled someone, they simply petitioned to be readmitted to the school and he was expecting that to happen with WWX.

Unfortunately that’s all I remember. Any ideas help!

FOUND!🔒With Intent by KizuKatana (E, 14k, WangXian, modern cultivator au, Modern with Magic, First Time, YLLZ WWX, WWX/others (minor), Jealous LWJ)

~*~

[jannaphia]

Ruby/Kaisa Writing Masterpost

Right, okay, wasn't sure if I should post these, but its pride month and I think I deserve a treat after sipping denial juice for like 15 years.

I actually wanted to flesh out some things that happened in their past, but I had so much fun I ended up with like 12 little snippets that I'm just going to throw on here over the next month.

A little background: these two are side characters from my group's DnD campaign, that I have latched onto like a barnacle to a boat (Kaisa was actually my first PC ever, I brought her back as a gimmick & our dm played along, so that didn’t exactly help with getting less attached).

*DISCLAIMER* - the campaign we play is 100% organic homebrew and we treat the world of DnD like a toddler treats a sandbox - with enough respect not to eat the sand but otherwise it's a free-for-all.

Snippets under the cut!

☼・12/12・☼

----------------------------

☼・1・☼

“They fucked both of us over, didn’t they?” Kaisa tightened the grip on her sword, while the rough wall dug into her back even through the scale mail.

The woman beside her nodded earnestly.

“You could say that.”

Kaisa shot her another glance. Heart-shaped face, grey-purple skin, red eyes, pointed ears. Drow, half-blood, most likely, with those ridiculous white strands of hair that framed her face. She was panting slightly from the exertion of running for cover. And probably the fight before. And the knife wound in her shoulder. Goddamn wizards. She should have aimed better. At least then they wouldn’t be squeezed together in this tiny alcove, hiding from the villagers. Or what was left of them, anyway.

“Sorry I almost burned your face off”, the wizard said sheepishly.

Kaisa grunted, in part to hide her surprise. An apology was the last thing she’d expected.

“My fault I even gave you the chance.”

“I’ve never had anyone dodge my spells like that. You’re used to fighting casters, aren’t you?”

“I kill them, usually.”

“Oh.” To her credit, she didn’t cringe away. “Like…all of them?”

“Are you dead, little mage?”

She frowned. “Not for a lack of trying on your part.”

“But are you dead?”

“No, I guess not.”

“Then there’s your answer.”

“Is it a work-for-hire thing, then? Or is it...recreational?”

“Listen-“

“Ruby.”

“-Ruby, I don’t know why or how you got here, but you’re not what I came here for. So just stay out of my way and we won’t have any…further problems.”

“Fine. Are you sure you don’t need my help with that collapsed entrance, though?”

Damn. She’d forgotten all about that already. A triumphant little smile had appeared on the wizard’s insultingly pretty face and Kaisa felt like cursing again.

“I mean, I’m sure you’re strong enough to lift these boulders on your own, but fighting off a horde of undead at the same time might prove just a little difficult,” Ruby said with a small shrug. She winced and touched a hand to her shoulder. “Ouch.”

“And you think you’ll be of much help like that?”

“Probably not. I forgive you for throwing that dagger at me, by the way,” she said nonchalantly. “But since it looks like neither of us can leave on their own, we can either agree on a truce or we might as well stay here.”

There were few things that seemed less appealing than being stuck in a decrepit funeral temple with a wizard who liked to talk and smelled of peonies.

“Not a chance.” Kaisa fished a healing potion from a satchel at her belt and pressed it into Ruby’s hand. “Drink. Truce it is. Try anything, and I will stab you again.”

Ruby sniffed at the potion, downed it in one swig, and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. There was a glint in her eyes, a purple glow lighting up the red of her irises. Shit, Kaisa thought. She looked like an innocent doll all groomed and polished as if she was made to be dressed up in lace and ribbons and put on a shelf behind glass. It made it so easy to forget she’d almost blown Kaisa to smithereens. Made it even easier to forget that that was probably her intention.

“Don’t tempt me,” Ruby said and squeezed past her. “I might just get a taste for it.”

☼・2・☼

“Wait!”

Kaisa stopped and half-turned.

“What?”

A part of her wished Ruby hadn’t saved her life at the centre of the temple. There were few things worse than being indebted to a wizard. She’d want something in return; of course she would. A quick end would have been preferable. Maybe then she’d finally find some peace.

“Come work for me. I could use some help on the ship.”

There it is.

“I don’t work for mages”, Kaisa said crisply. “I’ll do what I owe, but no more. Better get this over with anyway. What do you want?”

Ruby furrowed her brow, confused.

“What?”

“The life-debt. What do you want for it?”

“Life-debt? If I saved yours, you saved mine like a dozen times.” “I just pushed you out of the way.”

“Exactly. And anyway, I didn’t help you to get something out of it,” she said, indignant.

“Sounds like you do want something, though.”

“Right. Maybe I do. But not because of some debt you may or may not owe.”

Kaisa narrowed her eyes at Ruby. Was this some kind of game she was playing? No. As far as wizards went, Kaisa had to admit that Ruby seemed to be one of the more upstanding ones. But she was still a wizard. Which made admitting that she’d started earning her respect just a little inconvenient.

“I know you’re looking for that sword. I can help you get off world,” Ruby added.

Kaisa knew it was a hook, saw it coming right at her, and felt it dig right into her heart. It didn’t change anything. That was a damn good argument. Even a risk worth taking.

“And what’s in it for you?”

“Someone to watch my back.”

“And your first pick is someone whose job it is to murder people like you for a living?”

“I’m sure that’s not the only type of people you know how to murder”, Ruby said with a wry smile, and Kaisa snorted. “Not that I want you to murder anyone. But I do want to see more of what’s out there, different worlds, different planes. I think I didn’t realise how dangerous it was to go alone, and I don’t want to return home just yet. We made a pretty good team back then. I want someone by my side who won’t flinch when things get rocky.”

“Hm.”

Kaisa put a hand under Ruby’s chin and tipped up her face. She held her gaze without blinking. And what she saw was someone who had nothing to hide. Someone who carried her intentions like an open book before her.

“You have guts, little mage. I like that”, she said softly.

There was colour to Ruby’s cheeks when Kaisa let go of her. She tugged at her hair.

“I’ll pay you, of course,” she said.

“Finding the sword is payment enough.”

“No, I want you to know that I keep my word.” She cast her eyes down. “I know you don’t trust me, and you don’t have to. Not yet, anyway. But maybe we can start with…begrudging acceptance?”

Kaisa shook her head, a smile tugging at her lips.

“That… I might just manage.”

☼・3・☼

“Oh, fucking shit.” Kaisa skidded along the railing, the ship tilting precariously, the planks groaning. The mast was about to break, listing heavily to one side, the sails a tangled mess of rope and canvas. She jumped back on deck, vaulted over a crate that had gotten loose, hooked her feet into the guardrail, reached over; and managed to grab Ruby’s hand just as the netting snapped, that had kept her unconscious body from tumbling into the wide abyss of open space. With a shudder, the ship righted herself, and Kaisa hauled Ruby back to safety. Blood was dripping from a wound on her temple, ran over her cheek and dropped on Kaisa’s arm. Goddamn, reckless wizard.

She shook her a little.

“Ruby. Wake up.” Her eyelids fluttered. “Come on, little mage.”

“I told you not to call me that”, she mumbled, and sucked in a hissing breath. “Ow, that hurts.”

“And I told you to stay inside. But no. Someone had to go see these damn beasts for herself, didn’t she.”

“Nebula Eels,” Ruby said with a faint smile. “Very pretty.”

“Very deadly.”

“You needed help.”

“I can handle myself. But if you die, I’ll be stuck stranded in the aether, and that’s one shitty way to go. So please be a dear, and don’t do that.”

Ruby cracked her eyes open. “Aw, you’re worried about me.”

“I worry about both of us not getting killed.”

“Mhm.”

The mast made a cracking sound, which reminded Kaisa that they had a few other problems to address, rather than standing on deck bickering, Ruby in her arms like a bride on her wedding day.

“Can I put you down?”

Ruby sighed.

“Please don’t. I mean do. Yes. Sorry. My head.”

“Sure.”

Gently, she set Ruby on her feet and watched her sway towards the battered mast. Her, worrying about a wizard? Ridiculous. She should have carried her into the cabin, though. That wound looked nasty, not something to be walking around with. Ruby stumbled. And Kaisa only just managed to catch her fall.

☼・4・☼

[very mild spicy 🌶️ ] [🎵]

Clink. Clink. ——Clink.

Ruby crumbled the piece of paper in her hand. The noise wouldn’t stop.

“Can you please not do that while I’m doing my calculations?”

Kaisa didn’t even slow down as she answered, her sword slicing the air in perfect, glittering arcs. “We agreed I do my exercises in the morning. Go inside if it bothers you.”

“I can’t calculate anything if I can’t see the stars. Besides, it is not morning!”

“Maybe you should get glasses and look at the damn clock.” She whirled around, the blade lightly gracing the deck as she pivoted and finally came to a halt.

“Maybe you should stop scratching up my ship,” Ruby said, frustrated, and pointed at the chronometer above the cabin door. “And look at the time.”

“It’s nine.”

“Nine in the evening.”

“How the fuck am I supposed to know what it is when it’s always dark out here”, Kaisa said, gesturing at the whirling nebulas above and around the ship.

“I don’t know; you could see me going on deck, lay out my charts and think to yourself ‘hmm Ruby is trying to work so we don’t crash into some moon or asteroids or a sky whale; that must mean it is evening so maybe I should stop being an inconsiderate meathead and put my toy swords away for just an hour or two’.”

“Toy swords?”

Ruby swallowed. Definitely the wrong thing to say to someone holding about 34 inches of blank steel and towering above her by at least a head. But she wasn’t about to back down either. The air had grown thick with tension between them, their fragile truce evolved into something different altogether. It’d been a long stretch between Seucury and their next destination, Ilror, with nothing but each other for company, and both had gotten increasingly irritable and restless. Didn’t help that for some reason, she really, really liked it when Kaisa looked at her like she was about to put a dagger to her throat again. There was a sort of thrill to it, like casting the Walk On Water spell and watching the sharks below your feet. She wouldn’t get hurt, but just the thought of danger made her mouth run dry. At home waited only responsibility, decorum and routine. And Kaisa was none of that. 

Ruby breathed in deep as she came closer, the table digging into her back. Her eyes travelled over Kaisa’s arms, the tattoos on them that looked like someone had carved them with a blunt knife. Ruby had to crane her neck to look up at her, the lamplight reflecting in her dark red eyes, making them glow like burning embers. She’d only needed to…

Kaisa reached around her to grab the astrolabe lying on the table.

“If anyone’s playing with toys, it’s you. What even is this thing?”

“A star chart”, Ruby said, although she could barely speak. “Put it back.”

“Huh”, Kaisa said, activating the small illusion inside and squinting at it. “Look at that. We’re off by a few degrees.”

“How would you know?”

“Yes, how would I with all that meat in my head?”

Ruby made a sound between a huff and a growl and reached for the astrolabe. “Let me see.”

Kaisa pulled it out of her reach. “Come and get it.”

She was an archmage of Dakar, a respectable member of the Dakarian university, a noble from a house with a long reputation, and games like these were beneath her. Under any other circumstance.

“You fiend”, Ruby snarled and lunged at Kaisa, who laughed and twisted away, taking Ruby with her. They swayed over the deck, half wrestling, half losing balance, tumbled over a coil of rope, fell, and Ruby found herself pinned beneath Kaisa, the astrolabe rolling from her hand. She could hear her own breath in her ears, felt something unravel in her chest like a spring, a want she’d tried to talk herself into not feeling. What would my mother say? What would my colleagues say? What would the nobles say? What would Kaisa say?

“Ruby, Ruby, Ruby.”

Ruby pulled her face down and kissed her. Hungry, starving. Felt her hands run over her arms, her back, every touch a small lightning strike, every kiss the answer to a question she’d never known she’d had. The only thing left of her was breath and fire, she weaved her hands into Kaisa’s braid as her lips travelled down her neck, one hand beneath her shirt; and the sound she made when Ruby ran her fingers along the membrane of her long ears might have sent Ruby to Elysium right then and there. She’d no idea how long they’d been lying there entangled, might have been a minute, might have been an hour, might have been an eternity. Not long enough by Dakarian standards. Too long, by Ruby’s.

“Cabin,” Ruby gasped. “Now.”

“Why? Is anyone else on this ship?” Kaisa whispered against her ear.

Oh, this was depravity. Absolutely unthinkable. The most wonderful, brilliant thing. Ruby lifted her eyes to watch the stars wheel above them, the endless dark expanse, the blue and purple nebulas, fractals, pattern, beauty she thought she’d gotten used to. But there would be no getting used to this.

☼・5・☼

[ 🎵]

“This one is my favourite”, Ruby said, trailing a finger over Kaisa’s back. She could feel the residue of old magic beneath her fingertips. These weren’t simple tattoos. But what purpose they might have had, she couldn’t tell.

“Hm. What does it look like?”

“You don’t know?”

“Don’t think I ever cared to find out what they did to my back.”

“They?” A few times Ruby had tried to uncover the reason behind Kaisa’s aversion, or rather borderline obsessive hatred, towards wizards. She’d only ever gotten pieces of an answer, had never guessed that the tattoos were a part of it.

Kaisa didn’t reply.

“It looks like a sun,” she said softly. “I think it’s beautiful.”

���You wouldn’t say that if you knew…”, Kaisa trailed off and turned around. “Have you ever had your will taken from you?”

Ruby shook her head, taken just a little off guard. “Only in training. As an exercise.”

“Well, there was no training in Arathflor. Not for that sort of thing, anyway.”

“Your home?”

“No. That’s where the fighting pits were. Lawless place. They throw you into a cell with a bunch of other poor bastards, tell you they’re on your team, watch you befriend them and then force you to kill them in front of an audience, all the while you fight for control over your own fucking body.”

“Why would anyone do that?”, Ruby asked, unable to keep the horror from her voice.

“Money, power and sadism, mostly.”

She sounded like she was talking about the weather, but Ruby did not for one second believe she actually felt this calm.

“How did you get out?”

“A friend…he damaged the spell’s anchor. Wasn’t more than a little coin. Almost killed me. Kind of wish he had. It was the last fight of the season. Never found out if it was an accident, or if he knew. Never got to ask him.” She stared at her hands, as if there was still blood on them.

“I’m so sorry,” Ruby said and swept a strand of hair from Kaisa’s face. There was no word in any language she knew to take that kind of hurt away. “I’ll never let anyone do that to you ever again. I swear.”

Kaisa pressed a kiss to her palm. “Neither will I,” she whispered, gathering Ruby into her arms. There was something else in her voice when she spoke again; old hurt, hope, an edge like a shattered blade. “Gods help me, I don’t know how, but I trust you. Please don’t break it.”

Ruby fiercely shook her head.

“Never, never, never.”

☼・6・☼

Ruby woke to the last rays of the evening sun shining through the blinds of her room. Returning to Dakaris was always an exercise in re-adapting. This time even more so. She kept her eyes closed and waited for Kaisa to kiss her brow and say ‘good morning, gem’, but when she reached out her arms, the bed beside her was empty. Right. Kaisa was at the barracks. Easier this way, they’d decided. No inconvenient questions. No worries about anyone questioning her status or mental capacities. They might have looked past her being a woman, but not that she was an uncultured barbarian to Dakarian society. No match for an archmage. No match for a family already in a precarious situation. They couldn’t see what Ruby saw. Kaisa was no scholar, but her knowledge of the arcane and those who wielded it was extensive and unconventional. Ruby had no doubt she could hold her own against some of the professors at the university. Especially when it came to putting them through a wall, just to prove a point. Which was the second, and biggest the biggerissue. Kaisa might trust her, but that trust certainly did not extend to the wizards at the university, and Ruby refused to put her into a situation that might hurt her in one way or another. So they’d agreed to separate for the time being. Which meant, no ship ration breakfast in bed, no one to hold her when she couldn’t sleep and no one to tell her to ‘fuck the old crones at the university with their shitty little magic books and trinkets’. So by the time she’d swung her legs over the edge of the bed, her night was already ruined.

☼・7・☼

Kaisa walked back to the barracks with the first morning light at her back, tracing the new leather tie around her arm with a smile. When Ruby first suggested she’d stay with the soldiers, she’d been sceptical, to put it mildly. It had been one of their nastier arguments. But the Dakarian military had turned out to be quite the opposite of the stiff city guard stationed on the upper levels of Dakar. With little threat from other nations, the main function of the army was to keep the city safe from the creatures that roamed the desert. Giant chitinous, alligator-like beasts that hid under the sand, centipedes as long as a man’s leg that collapsed tunnels the drows had dug into the rocks below, or hordes of desert corpses that hunted travellers on the few accessible trading routes between the cities. That meant that the soldiers stayed mostly topside, on the fringes of Dakarian society, and Kaisa had found herself amidst a bunch of hardened, disarmingly forward and hearty fighters, who had first roped her into a drinking contest, then an arm wrestling contest and then a boxing match. The sense of honest camaraderie had soothed her initial anger. Even Ruby’s father, the acting general of the Dakarian forces, had welcomed her with open arms. Basilides seemed to be a generally fair and respectable sort of person, who was on good terms with almost everyone in camp. Last night, he’d granted leave to Osha, Tux and Kiril so they could take her out hunting. The hide of her prey’s soft underbelly now decorated Kaisa’s arm. It had been a good hunt. A good night. No, all things considered, things could be much worse.

☼・8・☼

“This is getting ridiculous.” Ruby wanted to groan, or scream, or possibly do both at the same time. Schooling her expression into a detached, pleasant mask was getting gradually harder as the night wore on.

“Master Dalael has appealed the notion twice, he requests a formal inquiry and a re-examination of how the funds will be diverted,” her secretary said, pushing up his glasses.

That smarmy bast-

“He argues that your absence warrants a revision of the schooling program for children from the Dens. ‘Things are constantly changing and need perpetual revision’, is what he said, if I recall.”

What would Kaisa do?, Ruby mused and twirled her pen between her fingers. Hold him over a crevasse by his ankles and shake him until he agreed to see reason, probably. The thought had some appeal.

“Tell Master Dalael I’ll be at the meet and that I will be available for a re-evaluation.”

“Of course. Then there’s the Society of Extra-Planar Arcane Arts. They have requested your presence for a demonstration of a communication device.”

A device that doesn’t work and likely will never work.

“I’ll be there after the meet.”

“Very well. Lastly, Professor Lylok wishes to inquire about the state of the final exams. He is growing…impatient.”

“I’m working on them. He may discuss them with me before first light tonight. Is that all?”

“For tonight, yes. I will arrange everything and update your calendar.”

“Thank you.”

Thalel nodded. When the door had clicked shut behind him, Ruby buried her head in her hands. Dalael, the SEPAA and then Lylok. The nobles fighting as always, the people in the Dens suffering. Nothing had changed. The city was still a pit of vipers, impervious to change, the festering darkness hidden by a shiny veneer of gems and starlight. She’d only been home for two weeks, and all things considered, things couldn’t be much worse.

☼・9・☼

“Oi! Reed! How did it go yesterday?”

Reed stomped past, sending an unmistakable gesture towards Kiril, who slapped his thigh, laughing.

“She’s been trying to get into Mel’s bed for like a decade now”, Osha explained and handed Kaisa a cup of ale. “It’s not going well. He’s the righteous sort, you know.”

“Poor thing”, Kaisa said.

“You got anyone at home?”

“Home?”

“You know, that world of gorgeous, tall and muscular warriors you so obviously come from.”

“Oh. Yeah. I got someone.” The fact that someone was actually on Dakar didn’t exactly change her situation. She might as well have been off-world.

“Must be hard being so far away.”

“We’re taking a break,” Kaisa said, staring into her cup. She missed Ruby with a force she didn’t even want to admit to herself. She’d rather thought the feelings would go away once they stopped being constantly in each other’s face, stuck on a tiny ship. But to her dismay it seemed quite the opposite was true. Either way, if she’d learned anything on her travels, it was to not get overly attached. To take it one day at a time. Or on Dakar, rather, one night at a time. They’d leave again eventually.

“Osha, shut up already.” Tux nudged her with an elbow and Osha shrugged apologetically.

“It’s fine”, Kaisa sighed and downed her cup. “She says her parents won’t approve. Don’t want to get her into trouble.”

Osha grimaced.

“Ouch. Yeah. Been there.” She put an arm around Kaisa’s shoulder, clinking her cup to hers. “Well, if you ever want a fresh start and that archmage won’t bring you back, we’ll gladly keep you.”

☼・10・☼

Ruby sank into the plush chair, the cushions almost swallowing her. She kind of wished they did.

“Denied”, she said tonelessly. “I’ve got a week to appeal the appeal of the appeal, no support, no time and no leverage. Who even came up with a system like that?”

“And what are you going to do about it?”

“What am I going to do about what? I can conjure a whole damn fire elemental from nothing, but I cannot conjure up a bloody conscience for Dalael and his ilk.”

“Rubinia!” Damariel pursed her lips. “That is unbecoming of someone your station. You have clearly been away for too long. And the company you’ve kept!”

“Mother, please.” Ruby plucked at the fringes of an exceptionally frilly cushion. “I did not mind the company. And since we’re on the topic, she deserves better accommodations.“

Damariel clicked her tongue. 

“Be that as it may, I believe that you have more pressing matters to attend to. Have you entered some sort of contract with the mercenary?”

“No, nothing like that.” She wanted to tell her mother not to speak about Kaisa as if she were just some muscle for hire. That she would give her right hand to make sure she was safe. And if she pretended hard enough, keeping her mouth shut about the true nature of their relationship was the only way to shield her from Dakarian politics. So Ruby did just that.

“Then I cannot fathom what you’re fretting about. Your father says Lady Brightwind has taken well to life at the barracks. I’m sure that will put your mind at ease?”

Ruby rubbed her eyes. She’d never been more tired in her life.

“I’m glad.”

Damariel set her cup down and put a hand on her daughter’s knee. “Dear, you look tried. Stay for the day. And surely tonight you will see things more clearly. There are more important things to focus on than appeasing mercenaries and your little social projects. Although I would not mind seeing you go toe to toe with Master Dalael. It would strengthen your position.”

Ruby was too exhausted to protest, so she simply nodded.

☼・11・☼

Kaisa’s room was at the back of the barracks; a word from his daughter had seen the general grant her a small private space apart from the other soldiers. A luxury, but isolating. She climbed up a flight of stairs that was fixed to the outside of the building. Light would come soon, and the air was already getting hotter. She’d half a mind to grab her swords and head to the little oasis instead when she noticed the door standing open. An orange glow came from inside, whoever it was, they did not try to hide. It mattered little. Kaisa grabbed her dagger, crept towards the door, a spell ready on her lips, and hesitated.

Peonies.

She allowed herself a little smile, willed the space between her and the room to let her pass through, stepped forward and out of the air behind a familiar figure standing by the window. Carefully, soft as a kiss, she put the blade to her throat.

“Gotcha”, she whispered.

But to her disappointment, Ruby barely reacted. She simply pushed the dagger away with a finger and turned, her presence hitting Kaisa like a wave. Like water in the desert. Like something that had only grown sweeter in its absence. This could have been the best morning in a month if Ruby hadn’t looked a right mess. As if she hadn’t slept in weeks. Judging from the red rims of her eyes, she’d been crying too. And Ruby never cried. 

“What happened?”, Kaisa asked, her voice dark, ready to break someone’s neck.

Ruby just shrugged a little.

“You look like you’ve been having fun”, she said instead of an answer, and it sounded almost like an accusation.

Kaisa forced the dagger back into its sheath with a loud click.

“I’m making the best of things. As you suggested,” she bit back.

“Well, I didn’t expect you to be-“

“-Not miserable? What the fuck do you want me to be? Wasn’t my choice to get dropped off here with barely a word of goodbye. So don’t tell me how I’m supposed to feel about it.”

By the time she’d finished the sentence, Ruby was crying again. Ah fuck, was it hard to see her like that. But she’d a point to make, too.

“I’m sorry,” Ruby sniffed after a long pause. “I should have never left you like that. I was so worried about everyone's opinions, I thought if I played my cards right, I could actually do some good this time, but it’s all just the same and nothing I do really matters, I could do everything perfectly right and they still won’t listen and-“

“Woha, slow down”, Kaisa said, calm as she could manage. She should be fuming mad right now. Barely a word for a month, no visits, no messages, just a handful of cold letters, only for her to come back crying when things grew over her head. But unfortunately, this was Ruby. And she simply could not stand to see her hurt. “Just tell me what’s going on.”

“I don’t think I can do this.” Ruby wiped at her eyes, but the tears just kept coming. “I’m not cut out to be an archmage. The others barely respect me enough not to insult me to my face. My mother has all the empathy of a bowl of sand, and father is never home long enough to talk to. I’m alone, and I’m miserable, I’ve made the worst mistake I could have possibly made, I pushed away the only one who actually cared, just to gain the approval of cut-throats and liars, and I’m so so sorry, I should never have-“

“Ruby-“

“I miss you! I miss you so much. And I don’t-“

Kaisa pulled her into her arms before Ruby could choke on her own tongue, rested her chin on top of her head. Just let her sob for a moment. She fit perfectly against her, like a puzzle piece, and in that moment she knew she never wanted to hold anyone else ever again. What was a month to an elf anyway? Nothing more than the blink of an eye.

“I’ve missed you, too,” she said, gently rocking them both back and forth. “You have no idea.”

Ruby held on as if she were drowning.

“Will you come home with me?”

Trading the barracks for the inner city? The university? The laughter and levity for hostile stares? Not very appealing. But she’d have Ruby back. That was all that mattered. And Kaisa had never cared about pissing off a few wizards anyway.

“Of course, gem. I’ll pack my things.”

☼・12・☼

Ruby smiled and took a deep breath, the air filled with the smell of the sea, the wind gently tugging at her hair, the sun in her face. The Scarlet Harlot glided through the waves like a fish, as easily as she’d navigated the aether above. Her heart was light and the road ahead wide open. What wonder to exist with nothing but blue all around and the sails snapping happily in the wind. She adjusted her sun-lenses, watched Kaisa stroll on deck, leant against the guardrail and beckoned her closer.

“Hello, my darling sunshine”, she said and wrapped her arms around her waist, but for some reason Kaisa only smiled against her lips when she went for a kiss.

“What is it?”

“You lost”, she said, took Ruby’s chin and pointed her face towards Coy, who sat on a crate, hidden in the shadow of the mast, an open-mouthed expression of disbelief on her face.

“Oh. Oh no.”

“I think you owe me ten gold, my love.”

“You dogs. You absolute dogs!” Coy jumped up, the string of her violin snapping. “I knew it! I fucking knew it.”

“And I knew you’d slip up first”, Kaisa said, and planted a kiss on her cheek before heading for the ship’s wheel.

“That’s not fair, you’re the one with all the names!”, Ruby called after her. “The one time I…I didn’t even know she was there! And you know I can’t see well in the sun! …What?”

There was a wide grin on Coy’s face.

“My darling sunshine. That’s disgusting. Oh, mother will be furious. I’m so proud.”

Ruby sighed. She’d never hear the end of this.

“She knows already.”

“And?”

“Well, you know how she is.”

“Oh, do I know.” Coy sat down again and fixed her violin. “You fooled me long enough, I’ll give you that. But on another note, you should really give the gold to me.”

“And why would I do that?”

“Compensation for all the emotional damage you two are going to inflict on me.”

“Ah.”

“Make it eleven, and I’ll even throw in one or the other sappy love song, if you’re so inclined.”

“I’m not inclined. At all.”

Coy shrugged. “Your loss,” she said and started plucking at her violin as if she’d never seen the instrument before.

“Gods, you’re impossible.”

Ruby flicked a coin at her and Coy snatched it out of the air, still grinning.

“Good choice,” she said, changing the tune, humming softly, her bow dancing over the strings and the wind carrying the music like the sea carried their little ship.

“A silver for your thoughts, my love // a silver for your hand // a silver for a kiss, my love /// you said the sky cannot be bought // and I said just look up // see all the coins you have collected there // see them scattered in the dark // and I’ll add mine and more than that // just to have your heart. O, a silver…”

[accessible-tumbling]

Video description: The Quora site is displayed and the narrator, who has a British accent and is speaking quickly and excitedly, opens by reading from it: "My MacBook Air weighs 2.3 pounds. If I download more files on it, will it make it heavier?

"This is Quora," he continues. "A place where once grand intellectual questions would be mused over. But if you recall, 2 years ago we sadly bid farewell to our friend, Yahoo Answers, a place where those sorts of questions didn't happen, and in that time it seems many Yahoo users have made Quora their new home.

"Do chimpanzees get pregnant? Does anyone live on the sun? How high do planes fly when landing? What percentage of people are going to die? Do lesbians get periods?"

(A response to that question is read in a gruff tone:) "Oh, come on! Where the hell are you getting that question?"

"You are sleeping with your partner and suddenly realize that he/she is a ghost. What would you do? Are there werewolves in Texas? Why does the sausage have two ends? What happens to the time it takes to actually time travel into the past/future? Which hole does an actress push out a baby in a birth sense?"

(Another answer is read:) "She doesn't. She acts."

"I heard that in the Middle Ages, nobles used to wipe their butts with ducklings. Is that right?"

(Response, gruffly:) "No!"

"Is it true that pregnant women should not sleep during a lunar or solar eclipse as it may cause harm to the unborn?"

(Response:) "No. That's the dumbest thing I ever heard."

"Can I sue Germany for putting my grandfather in prison for 7 years in the second world war?"

(Response:) "No, no, no, no, no!"

"Can you think of a sentence that contains the words 'book' and 'crabs'?"

(Response:) "Well, yes, I can."

"Why does the 'bros' abbreviation for 'brothers' end in 's' instead of 'th'?"

(Response:) "Because that would spell 'broth'."

"Do rich people get embarrassed that their servants know what their stuff in the toilet looks like?"

(Response:) "This is a very weird question."

"What happens when we wash vessel and use it with water in which a lizard was dead? Is it poisonous? What can we do?"

(Response:) "Uhh..."

"Why does the United States promote homosexuality and not consider what happened in the petrified village of Pompeii?"

(Response:) "Wha…?"

"How can I have sex with Asia?"

(Response:) "Pretty sure you mean an Asian girl."

"Is Israel on the world map? Are the Irish really from Ireland? My son speaks Arabic. (in a panicked, shouting tone:) What do I do? Does India have airports?"

(Response:) "Putin came to India in 2014 swimming in the ocean. I have a photo to prove." (A flash of a picture of Putin swimming can be seen briefly at this point in the video.)

"Where do animals live? Why are things? What is my date of birth? Do you know a microscope? Real mathematicians (in all caps): I have 5 live cows and then I multiply them by 0. How then do you come and tell me that I end up with 0? Where did the 5 go? Which is larger: 0 or 2+7? Math math what is angle?

(Narrator comment: "I do believe this Quora user was intending to ask 'what are the names of the most powerful angels?' but…) What are the names of moist powerful angles? I'm an atheist who believes in God. What should I do? Why do atheists watch fiction movies? During airplane turbulence, how do atheists keep calm?"

(Narrator comment: "This question I could only find an old link for, even Quora went nowhere, not even, that is way too stupid:) How do atheists know what foods are 'sweet' versus 'sour' or 'bitter'?

"I am 11 and stand at 5 foot 2. Am I obese? Do celebrities fart? What's the meaning of a single white egg left at my door? (narrator's comment: that is weird.)

"My mom slapped her own bum in front of me what does that mean? Is this correct, 'similarvgbhujkljhgtyhujk'? Why is Zelda so 'thicc' in Breath of the Wild? Do demons always say 'I am a demon' when they are introduced? Is it possible to balance your entire body on your penis?"

(Response:) " Yes, but I'm scared of heights."

"I saw the cop the gay eating a raw bird in my backyard. What should I do?" (Narrator comment: "I became a bit obsessed with this question, it's so indecipherable and googled it for clues to find apparently there was much debate on the site about whether this was a weird autocorrect from 'cat'. Which word was supposed to be cat?")

"Can deaf people laugh out loud? Can deaf people do surfing? How do def people know what facial expressions look like and how they're used outside of American Sign Language (ASL)? If so, how do they learn about them if there's no way to see someone else make that face?" (Narrator comment: "I mean, I don't think there's any intelligent questions actually left on this site, is there? Who's asking 'Can music cause candle to light?' Obviously, no!")

"Do people still eat mashed potatoes? (Yes!) Can semen travel up your foot? (No,, it cannot.) Is the word 'stay asleep' alwasy spelled 'J'? (I don't even know what that means.) Do lobsters pee from their faces? (Uh, ugh, are you mad? Obviously no!)"

(Response:) "Yes, as others have pointed out, many crustaceans have two different types of excretory organs, both near the head. Usually only one is used, depending on the age of the animal. Lobsters and crabs, etc, use their urine smell like cats, to mark territory, warn rivals, etc." (Uh..oh.)"

The screen goes white and the scene transitions to footage of the narrator walking up to a door. He places an egg on the mat, then runs away.

End video description.

[alipeeps]

Episode 25

Goddamit Zhu Yan, did you fucking forget you gave him immunity to your one word spell?

WTF is he doing in the pond?

Heh, while we're at it, let's take a moment to appreciate the glorious fishpond which we pretty much all thought is amazing and so OTT and why do they even have that...? Turns out it did have a purpose after all, as it was hiding the 5-coloured stone.

His eyes aren't blue anymore?

Oh wait, his eyes are blue again.

Now is that deliberate? Did immersing himself in the water somehow slow down/ease whatever's going on with the demon blue that made his eyes glow? Or did they just forget the glowy eyes FX for a couple of frames (seems unlikely given the top notch production standards so far)?

Whyyyyy hasn't Zhao Yuanzhou/Wen Xiao followed him... or at least gone to warn the others about what's going on?

Yeah, exactly so that kind of thing won't happen!!

Eyes not blue again. What is going on here?

They just let him fucking wander out into the night, into a city full of vulnerable people, when he is randomly attacking his friends?

Oh holy SHIT, that is not good!!

Ayy she's not wrong Ying Lei, he just fucking murdered an innocent villager.

Oh dang, he's teaching him how to be a demon... how to control his energies...

Honestly guys, this one's on you. You fucking let him wander out into the town when he was clearly out of control and dangerous. The minute he attacked Wen Xiao and then stalked off, you should've been raising the alarm and locking the damn place down.

Dang guys, bad enough that he just found out he's turning into a demon, but also that he just killed someone.

Can you please just get him home instead of letting him suffer in the street?

Like COME ON, if ever there were a perfect moment for Zhu Yan to pick him up and bridal carry him home?

Oh dang... not Zhu Yan empathising with what it's like to realise you have done dreadful things while you were not in control of yourself...

Yeah and ofc Pei Sijing is gonna go straight into cop mode. No nuance.

Ao Yin was there? Really? I don't think so Ying Lei... I think you are grasping at straws...

I will (definitely) save you. Ugh. My heart

Ahhh getting too affectionate again, Zhu Yan, and that contract is kicking in...

Uuuhh about that...

"Severely injured"? I thought he was dead?

Oh so he didn't die?

But... we saw him do it? Unless what we saw - and the villager saw - was Ao Yin?

Oh dang so it WAS Ao Yin?!! I did think at the time that the cruel smile as he attacked the night watchmen didn't seem to fit. Lost control of his demon powers, yes, but that was a smile of enjoyment...

He's so angsty.

So, I know this show is alllll about the long slow angsty looks etc... but jfc you could speak to him and reassure him instead of just walking into his cell and standing there silently waiting for him to look up at you...

Well yeah. I'm not entirely sure why you've waited as long as you have?

Aaaaand we are once again back to hunting Ao Yin at the brothel. Can you please just sodding well catch her this time?

Oh shiiiiit that's why Ao Yin attacked the night watchman? Cos Li Lun needs to eat human livers to stave off the poison damage? Yikes!!

Why the fuck DID you bring him with you? Unless it's to force Ao Yin to take his form in front of witnesses so you can prove there's two of them...

Uhohhh you're making Zhu Yan angry... You can say what you like about him but don't you dare malign the name of Zhuo Yichen in front of him...

What is the point of all this? What are they hoping to achieve?

This is just annoying me now cos this was a shit plan and you're all not handling it well and just making things worse. This just feels like... manufactured angst for Zhuo Yichen. There's no need for him to be suffering through this. What the fuck was the point of them bringing him here like this?

Okay and who the fuck brought raw eggs to the brothel? Like... really

And why the fuck would Chongwu camp be helping them out now, after deliberately exposing Zhuo Yichen to the wrath of the crowd?

Except I guess maybe to force Li Lun's hand... if Ao Yin is captured she can't procure livers for him anymore?

Oh man this is really fucking annoying me.

We already know humans hate demons and are awful to them. This is just deliberately - for nonsensical plot reasons - putting Zhuo Yichen in circumstances for humans to be horrible to him and manufacture angst for him. This is pointless and unnecessary. And I say that as a lover of whump and angst!

Who the fuck is bringing their entire grocery shopping to the fucking brothel with them?!!

And how the fuck did he get to be sadly wandering alone in the rain... Ying Lei literally just tried to leave with him and the crowd pushed them back. But suddenly moments later they are going to let Zhuo Yichen pass through so he can go mope in the rain?

I am so mad at this shitty plotting. I really am.

I'm a demon too so I have no right to kill you. That's bullshit. Your mission want to hunt down and deal with Li Lun not because he's a fucking demon but because of the crimes he has committed! Jfc.

Oh so Li Lun's shitty plan was not just to turn Zhuo Yichen into a demon, but turn him into a demon and have Ao Yin pretend to be him and kill a human... so that Zhao Yuanzhou would then hate Zhuo Yichen for being a human-killing demon? That was your great fucking plan Li Lun? To make Zhao Yuanzhou break up with his new friend that you are so jealous of? What the fuck are you, 7?!!

Oh sweetie, the fact that you can't understand the difference between you, a demon, hating humans and killing a whole bunch of them out of hatred, and Zhuo Yichen, a newly-minted demon, killing one human (except SIKE we already know it wasn't him!) because he lost control of his new demon powers.

What happened to Zhuo Yichen is far more like Zhao Yuanzhou's situation then yours, and it's never going to make Zhao Yuanzhou turn away from Zhou Yichen the way he did from you.

You really think you're going to sway Yichen to your side this way? Jfc Li Lun you really don't understand humans AT ALL.

BINGO!! The lesson Li Lun is apparently incapable of learning.

Pleeeease don't tell me Yichen is actually going to fall for this bullshit.

Oh this is fucking stupid.

This better be a fucking ploy to defeat Li Lun because this is really fucking pissing me off.

Good.

And why is he suddenly wigging out with his demon powers? Just cos Li Lun insulted Zhao Yuanzhou?

This is boring. I am bored.

Which is a first for me with this show.

Yup, he just wants to drag you down with him. Can we move on now?

Oh dang.

Sucks to be you Li Lun, your plan backfired big time.

Was that Xiao Bai's voice? Did Li Lun relinquish control? Or just a trick to try and mess with Zhuo Yichen.

Aaaand whatever stupid shit went down off-screen at the brothel, they clearly didn't capture Ao Yin.

Welp, that's the first episode of this show that I didn't really enjoy. It felt pointless and dragged out and didn't really advance the plot almost at all.

The whole brothel scene was stupid and made no sense as to why they would even take Zhuo Yichen there with them to hunt down Ao Yin. It just felt completely contrived so they could make Zhuo Yichen feel hated and despised by humans. And him getting out on his own, without Ying Lei, also made no sense.

And then literally half the fucking episode was that long drawn out mostly pointless confrontation between Zhuo Yichen and Li Lun.

Ugh. Fingers crossed the next episode will be back to the usual high standard.

[ceiling-karasu]

Watched Black Cat Detective and started thinking about Squirrel and Hedgehog as well.

It's been a few days so I have lots of thoughts and rambling. I'll start off by saying that since the main villain of Black Cat Detective is named the 'one eared mouse,' and we already have one of those in this fandom, I'll be calling him Lǎobǎn (no idea if there is already a fan nickname for this guy).

Putting these two together in a room would be fun, but I think Oegwipali is way smarter, to be honest, especially since he is a trained soldier. I'm not sure they would get along.

I would not do a Squirrel and Hedgehog and Black Cat Detective crossover in The Rod That Blocks the Lightning, though, since on is a North Korean cartoon and the other is strictly Chinese. I would be interested in doing a cross over in another, less serious, AU, though, since it is pretty similar with the violence and some other themes.

I watched the original series, then the reboot, and then the movie. Animation wise it does have that 'these kinds of thing happen in the first few episodes' issues, but it is only five episodes so they don't get ironed out. Still entertaining! It was pretty interesting, although I think the movie takes place in a different continuity. The series takes place in a forest with its own 'Forest Law,' and the movie is set in a massive futuristic city with space faring technology.

(I think the giant hairdrier is a leg section of what is a science museum of futuristic space vehicles).

It is about as violent as people say it is, especially for the time period and the fact that it was made for children. I thought it really could not be that bad, that the FH spike impalement scene was wild, but no, an eagle really does beat a bunch of children and eat one alive on screen. Said child is never seen again. The police even know what is going to happen.

Also, are the 'rats that eat cats' supposed to be vampires? Those are some wet slurping sounds, and then the talk of drinking blood later...

I really wish that had been expanded upon. It would make for a fun murder mystery AU.

Definitely a police propaganda cartoon, but maybe (maybe?) not as much racism as we previously thought. The cats in the first episode do not jump to the assumption that the mice stole all the food immediately, and actual detective work is shown throughout the series. I think I saw a mouse living in a village normally in a later episode, and the cats don't even blink an eye at her presence. But when they do figure out who committed the crimes, they do not hesitate to brutally beat the mice half to death and shoot limbs off, if not shoot them dead, with absolutely no mercy. They are overly enthusiastic in sprinting forwards with their batons to beat criminals unconscious in general. At one point there's a stun baton, and they deliberately use it in sensitive areas for extra effect.

Then again, later, a criminal elephant trying to murder a group of cops later is simply tranquilized, so make of that what you will. Although, honestly, the elephant is referred to as a citizen of the forest, and the mice are not. Which would actually rival Flower Hill's xenophobia on the matter, and they don't even have a war going on. Maybe. They have tanks in the forest in the reboot outro?

We noticed a weird issue with the clinking of shackles and chains on arrested prisoners being one of the loudest and crispest sounds in the audio.

There's also the fact that Black Cat will reveal to the public that a prisoner committed a terrible crime, but declare them innocent based on the fact that the crime was 'only in their nature' and they couldn't help it. Which is a very strange thing to say, feels weird, and also suggests that the mice trying to steal and kill everyone were making a choice which is why (according to whatever lesson is being taught here) they 'need' to be punished so brutally and killed without mercy (the elephant and company needed a mineral in the laterite bricks they were stealing, so they were 'only ' sentenced to heavy labor so to speak).

They start talking about using interpol to track down Lǎobǎn at one point.

Which means I think it would be pretty interesting if Lǎobǎn managed to escape to Flower Hill or something like that, and the cats were the Special Forces of the Rabbit Village police. Or the surviving mice could end up with the Weasel Unit and used a propaganda tools of 'this is why we hate Flower Hill, look what they did to your fellows' type thing.

Now as for the movie:

I'll be honest, there was no English release of the movie, so I watched it raw in Chinese while discussing it with rei-does-stuff and sah-headcanons. Maybe we can make a post of our live-blogging with each other later.

There's a Tumblr user named ernestelm who made a review on it, but it is one of those things where none of us would have bothered getting into Squirrel and Hedgehog if we listened without taking a look ourselves.

I'll have to rewatch the movie frame by frame with a deepl translator, but what I get is that a gorilla gets betrayed and floats off into space, and comes back with telekinesis and fireball magic he learned out there and wants revenge.

Either way, he needs some sort of special green star gravity device so he can kidnap people in a museum, and enlists the help of Lǎobǎn for some reason (in case he gets captured or because he might be a local?). Except a pig kid sees this all happening, and Black Cat realizes that this kid has seen too much, and takes him into police custody for his own safety. Amazingly, he tells the parents he has to take the kid with him, from what I can tell.

It makes sense that the police would have Black Cat take care of the kid, since he has apparently always had a way with children.

Side note: What is this character? We think it's a fennec fox? The ears don't look right enough to be a cat. I'm not even sure it's a living person, it might be a computer program. Black Cat sure does give commands into an electronic watch a lot.

ernestelm is completely right about the duck/goose, though. I watched one of the most entertaining animations I've ever seen with meteors damaging a prison complex for six minutes, and then got hit with THAT voice. Maybe he is actually useful, I don't know yet, I'll need the translator. Not one of the police officers hesitates to follow his orders and start a musical number, which turns out of be a legitimate distraction, which means the singing was police protocol intended to confuse a target. Everyone keeps forgetting he can fly at crucial moments?

And why do unimportant characters have a different animation style near the end?

(What is this? Why is it like this it looks like The Amazing World of Gumball?? Also reminds me of Pleasant Goat but these are not goats)

Black Cat Detective is just a slight bit expressionless as well. It would have been nice to see him actually in trouble or in distress like the original, instead of the calm to cocky attitude the whole time. Oh no, he's falling from very high up. Luckily the kid who hero worships the police enough to have studied their flying bikes, and whose father is a pilot, has been hanging around on said bike for just such an occasion. No peril at all.

The real question in the movie is this;

They just casually happen to have a containment unit for the gorilla? Are superpowers and magic just a thing in the Black Cat Detective movie universe, and common enough that they have protocols for this? So many questions.

The city, plus the casual power containment unit, reminds me of Loonatics Unleashed, honestly. Someone could easily make a crossover out of this.

Funny enough, the three of us found that this cat police officer looks a lot like Geumsaegi or Commander Darami.

There's always the idea that Black Cat Detective takes place in the same universe as Squirrel and Hedgehog. The amount of firepower these police officers have is far too much if they are not expecting a war to happen, even if they are referenced as a more elite unit. The implication is very interesting.

Now, if I get to writing the Clever Raccoon Dog PSA fun series, which I headcanon as taking place in Flower Hill because it might be canon (they are both SEK anyway), I would most definitely have the main characters visit and do a ride along with Black Cat Detective (preferably in the cartoon series universe. They are fine with criminals being beaten up, heck they do it themselves!) for a chapter or two. It sounds like it would be fun!

The other one would take place in the movie universe. Maybe a kind of Jimmy Olsen situation with a mouse reporter who keeps getting into trouble, and Black Cat or other people in the police force have to keep saving him. Although, we still have that pig kid who wants to be a police officer, if I understand correctly. It actually sounds better if I just used the pig child continuously getting into situations and needing to be rescued by the police, all the while trying to balance school into the equation. Maybe he becomes a young deputy.